One of the many fascinating aspects of moving from one country to
another is the difference in attitudes to baby care. In my case, I had
two children in England, where I come from, and now have a two year old
born in the Philippines, where I now live. I have therefore had plenty
of opportunity to observe not just how Filipinos bring up their
children, but how they react to seeing the way my daughter is being
raised. It also enables me to compare and contrast the two approaches to
baby care.
I think it is fair to say that, the world over, people
love babies. However, there are degrees, and the Filipino people, at
least on the surface, love babies a lot more than the English. That is,
if you judge "love" by the amount of attention the baby may be given,
and how she is welcomed and treated wherever she goes. In fact, the
adoration of babies here starts before birth; even before conception.
When I first introduced my wife-to-be to our landlady, once she had
taken hold of her hand and kissed her on the cheek, she said: "You two
will have such beautiful children." That conversation would not have
taken place in England.
There are many differences in the way
babies are cared for in the Philippines, and the mothers during
pregnancy and labour. The countries are at a very different level of
development, so health care is not of the same standard in the
Philippines. To make things worse for ordinary Filipinos, who are mostly
very poor, there is a high death rate amongst babies and mothers during
birth.
Pregnancy, Labour and Birth
One
notable difference between England and the Philippines was, not
surprisingly, the lack of pre-natal classes. Fortunately, with my own
experiences of two children in England, and the mine of information on
the internet, we were able to get through the nine months with no
difficulties.
As the birth of our new baby approached, though, a
couple of differences were very apparent to me as a foreign resident.
Firstly, as my wife was going through a false labour, with erratic
contractions, neighbours and friends were anxious to get her to the
clinic, and were showing signs of panic. I was monitoring closely, so my
wife and I were as relaxed as we could be in the circumstances.
Later
that day, my wife finally went into true labour, of that I was sure by
about 7pm. Soon, there was a car outside the door and anxious friends
saying "quick, we'll take you to the clinic." I was touched by their
concern, but tried to assure them the baby was not about to arrive.
Labour for a first baby averages 12-14 hours for the first stage alone,
followed by another one or two hours. The doctor had told us, as they
would in England, not to arrive too early.
We did go to the clinic
some 8 hours later, when contractions suddenly dropped from 8 to 5
minute intervals, but even then, the doctor was not over the moon about
it. She said nothing to complain, she is a lovely lady, but I could see
from her face she would have loved an uninterrupted night's sleep rather
than be woken after 2.30am.
When the final stage of labour
started, at a civilized time of 7am, I did get a shock, one that did
reflect a difference in culture. As my poor wife was led away to the
delivery room, experiencing intense labour pains for the first time in
her life, and not allowed any pain killers, I was told to just wait. It
was like a secret society meeting to which I had no invitation. I was
stunned that I could not be with my wife, and see the birth.
However,
I quickly made the most of the situation, and recalled movies set in
past times when Dad was not allowed in the delivery room. That way, the
excitement, anticipation and tension built as I listened for some sign
that the baby was either close, or had arrived. I did not hear a sound
from my wife at all, but eventually the sound of a newborn baby crying
broke the silence. We had a beautiful daughter, but I was still not
allowed in immediately, as the staff wanted to have the baby and the
room looking perfect.
It was worth the wait, and soon I was at
Saffron's side, admiring her pretty and surprisingly feminine face. My
wife slept blissfully; the night's activities had left her exhausted.
This baby care article was written by Roy Thomsitt, owner author of the Bouncing New Baby website.
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