19 Ways To Keep Your Baby or Toddler Happy During Diaper Changes

   " Dr. Laura,
    My 11 month old is really happy he's learned to sit up, explore everything in hands reach and roll during diaper changes. He gets so distraught during diaper changes when I prevent him from using these new skills. If I flip him back onto his back after he's rolled onto his tummy giggling or if I keep him from practicing his sit-up skills he turns from happy giggles to sobs and tears. And it is clear that he thinks I am being mean by not allowing him this sweet play exploration that prevents me changing his diaper... he tells me he's so frustrated in his sobs and yells of "momma". I've tried many different things to distract him or keep his attention... toys, dancing, singing, talking, music... all to no avail. He wants to sit-up, roll over and play with whatever diaper accessory I've brought his way. I hate that he hates diaper changes and have no idea what to do. The changes are now trigger of anxiety for him. I can totally understand his upset during certain changing times such as middle of the night wet diapers while he's hungry and sleepy. But what can I do during other times when he's clearly distressed that my changing his diaper is preventing him from newfound skills and exploring?"

MOST little ones go through stages of hating diaper changes. Unless you have the rare child who is uncomfortable in wet diapers, then he has no incentive to have a diaper change. Your son is old enough to want to be more in charge of his body and his time. He doesn't want an adult to swoop in and pick him up and disrobe him when he's busy with something.

Sometimes, simply slowing down and connecting changes everything. Sometimes, giving the child control is the key to avoiding a power struggle. Often, not interrupting their play solves the problem by meeting their needs as well as yours. And sometimes you will probably find yourself resorting to distraction. So here's a list of ideas to try, most of which will work sometimes, or for awhile. You may find some good combinations that work for you. I suggest printing this list and adding to it as you come up with more solutions that work for you and your child.

1. Connect with him.

Children are always more likely to cooperate with us if we connect first. Take a deep breath. Get on your child's level and connect. Comment on what he's doing. Then, point out that his diaper is wet. Ask if he has noticed it. This gives him an opportunity to check in with his body. (This is a good foundation block for eventual potty learning.) He also feels, since you've connected, like you're on his side. You aren't just pushing him around, which of course would make him feel resistant.

2. Be more mindful.

Cassandra Vieten suggests that our ability to stay calm and connected during a diaper change models for our children how they can stay grounded in the face of their own discomfort. She stresses bringing compassionate, open-hearted full presence to the diaper change, rather than just rushing through it. In fact, she calls this the "Mindful Diaper Change Practice." (And you thought you didn't have time for mindfulness practices anymore!)

3. Give him some respect.

Magda Gerber, founder of RIE, taught that even though babies can't understand our words, they feel the difference when they're treated with respect. So from the time they're infants, instead of just scooping them up, move slowly and explain what's happening. Receptive language is about a year ahead of expressive language, so your son already understands much more than you think. And even tiny babies understand your tone of voice. If you do this from the time your baby is born, they have better associations with diaper changes and don't build up such resistance.

4. Give him some control and choice.

Always ask "Ready for a diaper change?" If he says no, say, "Your diaper is wet. Do you want to change it now or in three minutes? 3 minutes? Ok, let's shake on it!"

5. Depersonalize it.

If this feels like a power struggle, depersonalize it by setting the alarm for three minutes. Tell him,

         "When the alarm rings, it is three minutes and time for your diaper change, ok?"

When the alarm rings, say "Oh, listen, there's the alarm, it's been three minutes -- Time for that diaper change!" Then help him transition using one of the other ideas on this list.

6. Help him transition

...by taking an object he's involved with and carrying it with you. For instance, "Let's drive the truck to the changing table!"

7. Don't make him move.

If you can, use a portable changing pad and change him where he is playing, so there is less interruption to whatever's he's working on.

8. Don't interrupt his play.

Play is your baby's work. Naturally, he doesn't want to be interrupted. Why not change his diapers standing up, if they're just wet? This will minimize the times that is necessary to ask him to lie down, so he is more likely to cooperate when absolutely necessary for messy changes. Since he may not be fully stable yet, pick a toy he likes and put it on the couch, and stand him against the couch. (I know it's harder than lying down, but if you practice, you get good at it. I did this with my daughter beginning at 11 months, until she was out of diapers.)

9. Invite him to a party.

Most kids can't resist a party. Grab the drum, have a conga line, sing and dance your way to the bedroom: "Gonna change that diaper right off of your tush!" or "Happiness is a clean diaper" or whatever song gets him moving.

10. Let him do the walking.

Many kids object to being carried off to be changed, but if you're making it into a party and he's dancing along into his room next to you in celebration, he's actively taking part in the plan, not feeling pushed around.
11. Ease into it by first diapering his doll or teddy.

Let him help. Shower admiration on Teddy for how quickly he does his diaper change. Then say, "Your turn! Are you quick too?"

12. Ask for his help.

Team up with your child to get the job done. For instance, maybe he would like to take off his own diaper? Kids love mastering new skills. Tell him what you are doing at each step and involve him, for instance,

         "I'm going to wipe you off now -- do you want to hold the wipes?"

Ask him to put his feet flat and lift up his bottom so you can slide the diaper under him, if he doesn't want to, say
 

 "Ok, I'm going to lift your bottom now to put the diaper under you."

13. Slow down.

If you treat this as a chance to connect and enjoy your child, he is more likely to stay cooperative. If you rush through the diaper change like it's something unpleasant, he will react as if he is being held down and subjected to something unpleasant.

14. Empathize:

"Does that feel cold on your bottom?" When your child gets upset, try not to get reactive. Instead, soften and stay compassionate. That way he'll know it isn't actually an emergency, and you understand and are looking out for his best interests.

15. Make it something to look forward to.

When you absolutely have to ask him to lie down for a change, for instance when there's a messy diaper, have a basket of toys ready that he only has access to while you're changing his diaper. You might even go hog-wild and find very small presents that you actually wrap in newspaper, and put in the basket. Every diaper change, he chooses one. What kinds of presents? Stuff you have around the house, or would have bought him anyway: Plastic measuring spoons or a funnel, small board books, little figures, a block with a letter A on it, a roll of masking tape, a broken cell phone, a plastic cup, Chapstick, colorful trinkets from Ikea, clay or playdoh with a plastic garlic press so he can make "noodles," a puppet, a tiny flashlight, little wind-up toys, stickers, an unbreakable mirror, you get the idea. You can even re-wrap things that he's left lying around and has forgotten about.

16. Get him laughing.

Laughter reduces stress hormones and increases bonding hormones. So getting your child laughing for ten minutes is always a good strategy when you know you'll need cooperation. Before you start the diaper change, start roughhousing in a way that makes your child squeal with laughter. Chase him around the house, be completely silly. After ten minutes, make the diaper change part of the fun.

17. Provide live entertainment.

If he's fussing, try singing to him very softly. He will usually stop fussing to listen to you. Sing, dance, kiss his belly, blow down his neck, make as many silly faces and noises as you can. Somewhere in there, get the diaper changed as unobtrusively as possible.

18. Keep a cd that has an interesting story on it ready to turn on while you change him.

He might even come to look forward to the next installment.

19. Let him decorate.

Keep a stash of stickers by the changing table. Every diaper change, let him choose one that he is allowed to put on the wall next to the table.

No one approach will always work, so you'll have to mix and match and be willing to try different things. But keep your sense of humor, and remember that this too shall pass. It will seem like the blink of an eye before you find yourself trying to get your six year old to take his bath!

Author,

Dr. Laura

When your baby starts crawling

When my babies went through the crawling phase, there were many exciting, shiny bits of the milestone. It was delightful witnessing my babies moving from that sitting Buddha, to the rocking-on-all-fours, dog-like creatures who were just raring to go. Finally taking that first frontward heave, with a face of surprise and accomplishment, was certainly priceless. The realisation they could move from one point to another was definitely a joy to behold.

But once I overcame the thrill of my baby meeting a new developmental landmark, I realised the practical implications of living with a crawler were not so sparkly.

On the go

Put your baby down in one place, turn around and they're in another. That takes some getting used to. Be mindful that crawlers are curious and their newfound freedom to get around can have them in places you wouldn't imagine. With a lack of spatial awareness they can get themselves into some sticky situations; I've had babies crawling with curiosity, only to find them stuck under the couch, under the change table or between a cupboard and a wall.

Stairs

We have a house full of stairs, which is equivalent to an extreme adventure sport for crawlers. Some of them sense the danger and quickly learn to turn around and slide down on their tummies. Others, not so astute, learn the hard way that full frontal down a flight of stairs isn't fun.

Don't fret, we had stair gates everywhere. But it was the bright crawler who figured out he could climb into the gap between the railings that had us on our toes.

Dead flies & stray toys

I don't care how immaculate your house is, when you set a crawler down, they find stray things. Mine always seemed to find the single dead fly and proceed to test it out as a snack. You can bet that a lost Lego piece will be located by a crawler, which is why being anally retentive about "a place for everything and everything in its place" becomes imperative when there's a rugrat around.

Baby-proofing your house when a crawler is on the loose can be a work in progress as they discover items you hadn't considered at their level. I found myself crawling around on all fours, analysing my home from their viewpoint; it was very useful until I couldn't get up.

Filth

As with the dead insect point, you can polish your floors until the reflection of your tired, haggard face stares back at you, but a crawling baby will always have dirty knees and filthy palms. Or, in a commando crawler's case, an entire layer of dog hair and dust coating their stomachs. And we don't even own a dog.

My firstborn was a commando crawler; had I thought to strap an Enjo to his front, he could've become a human swisher.

If you're not quick enough to sweep up the collateral damage from lunch in the highchair, then expect to find your crawler eating scraps off the floor. Like a stomach swisher, the crawling food machine has benefits: think 'human vacuum'. Not so handy if the food scrap lying on the floor is chilli beef jerky ... it turns out that human vacuums don't like random samples of chilli.

No two crawlers are the same

It's funny how as parents, we want our first baby to reach every milestone quickly. We are so excited when they roll, then look like they're going to crawl. Then they crawl and you want them to stand, then walk, then talk, then pay some bills and move out.

With our second children, we wanted him to do it all late - keep him immobile. Well, not quite, but we know what we were in for, so could be accused of being a little less passionate about certain phases.

I expected my second child would crawl commando-style like my firstborn. I was all over that by the time he was eight months, and was ready with the stomach rags for him to shine my floor. Instead, he chose a very labour intensive style; he leant to one side like he was about to roll, then pushed off his back foot and did it again on the other side. He sometimes forgot to get his arm out the way so would fall on his face. It was a harrowing time for all involved.

The third child mixed it up with some commando, some leg drag, and some bog-standard all-fours crawling.

The fourth was a more traditional crawler but actually preferred to crawl and sit, crawl and sit.

I never got myself a bum-shuffler, with the nappy being dragged down just enough to show off a bit of builder's crack. Shame about that.

The point is, the contingency plans you had in place for your first child may not apply when subsequent children start crawling. Each child has a unique style.

So although it was interesting to watch my babies on the move, I'll admit crawling was not my favourite phase. That was until I was introduced to climbing ... then I really knew I was alive. 

Podopediatrics

Children's Feet

You worry about your childrens teeth, eyes, and other parts of the body. You teach washing, brushing and grooming, but what do you do about your child's feet those still-developing feet which have to carry the entire weight of the body through a lifetime? Many adult foot ailments, like other bodily ills, have their origins in childhood and are present at birth. Periodic professional attention and regular foot care can minimize these problems in later life.

Neglecting foot health invites problems in other parts of the body, such as the legs and back. There can also be undesirable personality effects. The youngster with troublesome feet walks awkwardly and usually has poor general posture. As a result, the growing child may become shy, introverted, and avoid athletics and social functions. Consultation between the podiatrist, pediatrician, and other medical specialists helps to resolve these related problems.

Your Baby's Feet

The human foot one of the most complicated parts of the body has 28 bones, and is laced with ligaments, muscles, blood vessels, and nerves. Because the feet of young children are soft and pliable, abnormal pressure can easily cause deformities.

A child’s feet grow rapidly during the first year, reaching almost half their adult foot size. This is why foot specialists consider the first year to be the most important in the development of the feet.
Here are some suggestions to help you assure that this development proceeds normally:

Look carefully at your baby's feet. If you notice something that does not look normal to you, seek professional care immediately. Deformities will not be outgrown by themselves.

Cover baby's feet loosely. Thight covers restrict movement and can retard normal development

Provide an opportunity for exercising the feet. Lying uncovered enables the baby to kick and perform other related motions which prepare the feet for weightbearing.

Change the baby's position several times a day. Lying too long in one spot especially on the stomach, can put excessive strain on the feet and legs.
Starting to Walk

It is unwise to force a child to walk. When physically and emotionally ready, the child will walk. Comparisons with other children are misleading, since the age for independent walking ranges for 10 to 18 months.

When the child first begins to walk, shoes are not necessary indoors. Allowing the youngster to go barefoot or to wear just socks helps the foot to grow normally and to develop its musculature and strength, as well as the grasping action of toes. Of course, when waling outside or on rough surfaces, babies’ feet should be protected in lightweight, flexible footwear made of natural materials.
Growing Up

As a child's feet continue to develop, it may be necessary to change shoe and sock size every few months to allow room for the feet to grow. Although foot problems result mainly from injury, deformity, illness, or hereditary factors, improper footwear can aggravate preexisting conditions. Shoes or other footwear should never be handed down.

The feet of young children are often unstable because of muscle problems which make walking difficult and uncomfortable. A thorough examination by a podiatrist may detect an underlying defect or condition which may require immediate treatment or consultation with another specialist.

The American Podiatric Medical Association has long known of the high incidence of foot defects among the young, and recommends foot health examinations for school children on a regular basis.
Sports Activities

Millions of American children participate in team and individual sports, many of them outside the school system, where advice on conditioning and equipment is not always available. Parents should be concerned about children’s involvement in sports that require a substantial amount of running and turning, or involve contact. Protective taping of the ankles is often necessary to prevent sprains or fractures. Parents should consider discussing these matters with their family podiatrist if they have children participating in active sports. Sports-related foot and ankle injuries are on the rise as more children actively participate in sports.

Advice for Parents

Problems notices at birth will not disappear by themselves. You should not wait until the child begins walking to take care of a problem you’ve noticed earlier

Remember that lack of complaint by a youngster is not a reliable sign. The bones of growing feet are so flexible that they can be twisted and distorted without the child being aware of it.

Walking is the best of all foot exercises, according to podiatrists. They also recommend that walking patterns be carefully observed. Does the child toe in or out, have knock knees, or other gait abnormalities? These problems can be corrected if they are detected early.

Going barefoot is a healthy activity for children under the right conditions. However, walking barefoot on dirty pavements exposes children’s feet to the dangers of infection through accidental cuts and to severe contusions, sprains, or fractures. Another potential problem is plantar warts, a condition caused by a virus which invades the sole of the foot through cuts and breaks in the skin. They require protracted treatment and can keep children from school and other activities.

Be careful about applying home remedies to children's feet. Preparations strong enough to kill certain types of fungus can harm the skin.

Whenever you have questions about your child's foot health, contact Dr. Craig Thomajan of Austin Foot and Ankle Specialists.

By: Craig Thomajan