The Truths About Breastfeeding after One Year

My son is 2 1/2 and still breastfeeding. There are days when I'm utterly exhausted and ready for him to wean. Then there are other moments when I know I am doing the right thing. He is likely my last baby, so I want to savor this time.

Breastfeeding beyond a year in the United States, unfortunately, is not common. Lucky for me, I am part of a very active local Facebook group called the Badass Breastfeeders of Southern Maryland. The group is made up of supportive moms, and many of them now have little toddler nursers. I asked them to share their truths about extended breastfeeding.

 

#Truth 1

“Gymnursetics is real.”

-Alithza Martinez

#Truth  2

“Nineteen months — that's how long I spent nursing my last baby. Through challenges and triumphs, I only wanted to nurse for three months, then six months, and then a year. Then when it was over, there I was sobbing uncontrollably the last time my baby latched.

“No one ever tells you how that weaning period feels. The emotional sadness you feel when it all ends. He unlatched, looked me in the eyes and sighed while saying 'All done.' That was the last time he ever latched.”

-Shannon Heany Crush

#Truth  3

“My son is almost 19 months old. Breastfeeding was hard at first. Really hard. My other two children didn't make it past four months. With a family who calls my son a 'titty baby' because he is clingy and fussy, I have very family little support.

“My husband isn't very supportive either, but through a move across country, sickness, surgery, and two kids in school, I am still breastfeeding.

“Going past a year was new to me. My son is so very demanding and always pinching, too many touched out days for me, but our bond is so strong. I love our time together. I dread our weaning days and am hoping that isn't anytime soon.”

-Amber Enrriques

#Truth   4

“This is the last photo I have of my daughter nursing. She weaned September 2014 at 20 months old. I was roughly 7-months pregnant with her little brother.

“My goal had been to nurse until she was 2, as that is what the World Health Organization recommends. We didn't quite make it, but we nursed until she was ready to wean. Some days it was hard, but mostly, it was an amazing bond that I will never forget.”

-Annie Stauffer

#Truth  5
“Fifteen months and going strong! Truth is that it's difficult eating enough to keep yourself satisfied while providing enough for your baby. Truth is that it's not easy, in any sense, nursing a toddler. Truth is that I get a huge sense of pride and accomplishment out of knowing that I have nourished her and that she will quit when she's ready.”

-Gwyenne Buttrill

#Truth 6

 “My truths about nursing past a year:

“Nursing a toddler doesn't feel any different than nursing a baby. I'll admit, before I had my daughter, the idea of nursing past a year or two weirded me out. But nursing my 2-year-old feels just as natural and normal as it did when she was a newborn.

“Extended nursing in no way limits a child's independence. Or at least, if it does, thank goodness! If my fiercely independent and strong-willed daughter were any more so, I'm not sure I'd survive it!

“Sometimes I love our nursing relationship; sometimes I don't love it. In fact, if I'm being honest, sometimes I resent it. I resent that some days I'm so touched out from nursing that the last thing I want to do when my daughter finally crawls down from my lap is to get down on the floor and play blocks, or cars, or dress up. Although I love how strong our nursing bond is, I sometimes worry that other parts of our relationship might suffer for it.

“The hardest part of nursing a toddler is other people. You would think by now I would be immune to the opinions of other people, but actually, it's the opposite. With the perceptions about extended nursing in our country being what they are, the older my daughter gets, the more self-conscious I feel about nursing. I very rarely nurse in public anymore, and I sometimes cringe when my husband (who cares not at all what other people think) tells people we're still nursing.

“Not everyone who nurses past a year plans on self-weaning. I never planned to nurse until my daughter self-weaned. From the beginning, my goal was to nurse for as long as both she AND I wanted to. And now that she's over 2, I sometimes feel like I'm caught in a limbo between the early weaning crowd and the full-term nursers.

“I am absolutely certain I would not still be nursing without the support of other nursing moms!”
-Amanda Mastran

by Mindi Stavish

7 Ways to Stay Awake During Middle of the Night Nursing Sessions

Nursing mamas, let's get real for a second: the ability to feed your baby by pulling out a boob is pretty convenient, but there's one part that always throws me for a loop: the middle-of-the-night feed. Simply put: getting up to breastfeed in the middle of the night is kind of a drag. Sleeping when you have little ones is highly coveted, so waking up to a crying and hungry baby puts a slight damper on that glorious sleep.

I'm no stranger to the MOTN nursing session; I breastfed my first daughter for 16 months, and I'm currently exclusively breastfeeding my six-month-old baby. I'm not a whiz at math, but I know that combined, that's almost two years of being awake a whole heck of a lot in the middle of the night.

During those early newborn days, especially if you have a baby who likes to nurse forever, staying awake when the rest of the house is fast asleep can be extremely difficult. Sometimes I even have to turn on a light just to keep myself awake, while my precious little one sleeps on the boob, gulping down her midnight (and 2 am, and 4 am) snack in her “dream feed.” (And don't worry, there are plenty of times when she comes into bed with us and I catch some zzz's while nursing her–gotta love the side-laying position!)

I have some tricks up my sleeve that may help you keep your eyes wide open when all they'd rather do is close and go back to sleep.

Here are 7 Ways to Stay Awake During Middle of the Night Nursing Sessions:

#Way 1

Read a Book. It's no secret that moms have very little time to themselves once little ones come around, but one of the things I've missed from my kid-less days is reading. I have a Kindle app on my phone, and during each MOTN feed I pick up right where I've left off. Since the beginning of this year I've already read a dozen books with this method! The books I'm reading aren't super complicated, but they're fun, easy reads that help keep me awake long enough to nurse the baby. The bonus part to this is that I recently joined a book club; so nursing in the middle of the night is essentially helping me make friends! Win/win.

#Way 2 

Clean Out Your Phone Book. In this day and age, it's probably safe to say that your Rolodex is now stored on your phone, and if you're anything like me, you have dozens of numbers stored on there you probably don't need in there anymore. It's also extremely safe to say that you reallydon't have time in your day-to-day life to do something as mundane as looking through your list of contacts for people to delete. Well, now that you're up at oh-dark-thirty, you have plenty of time on your hands to take care of business.

 #Way 3

Play a Game. Nothing can make you doze-off faster than being bored and sleepy. Put that brain to work by playing a game on your phone. Words with Friends, Scrabble, or even that matching game you have on there for your toddler … anything that will make you think. I play games against friends, and you'd be surprised how many other moms are up right around the same time you are. Just don't be surprised if your baby finishes eating and you're still awake trying to get through just one more round. 

 #Way 4

Edit Those Pictures. I typically don't have time to post pictures during the day since I snap around a million photos on my phone just to get that one decent picture of my girls. When I'm breastfeeding I have some extra downtime to scroll through all my pictures, find the ones I like, and get them up on social media or into an email for the grandparents.

 #Way 5

Binge Watch TV. My first daughter was a marathon nurser, meaning she paced herself and was in it for the long haul for each feed. Thankfully, we had a subscription to Netflix, so I binge watched shows in the middle of the night. Consider this an opportunity to catch up on all those shows you've been meaning to watch someday.

 #Way 6

Get Some Food and Pour a Drink. Drinking water is essential to keeping up a good milk supply, so pour a tall glass of water (or keep a water bottle handy on your nightstand), to drink while nursing. During the early days when I was still establishing my supply (and ravenous any time I nursed), I even made some “booby bites” and kept several on my nightstand so I could tame my rumbling tummy during a MOTN feed.

 #Way 7

Get Out of Bed. If you're not keen on cosleeping, and don't want to risk falling asleep with the baby in your bed, get out of your bed and feed her in another room. The act of getting out of bed and walking somewhere else will help wake you up–then use one of the tips above to stay awake.

Author,

Jessica Lynn       

The Importance of Skin to Skin Contact

There are now a multitude of studies that show that mothers and babies should be together, skin to skin (baby naked, not wrapped in a blanket) immediately after birth, as well as later. The baby is happier, the baby's temperature is more stable and more normal, the baby's heart and breathing rates are more stable and more normal, and the baby's blood sugar is more elevated. Not only that, skin to skin contact immediately after birth allows the baby to be colonized by the same bacteria as the mother. This, plus breastfeeding, are thought to be important in the prevention of allergic diseases. When a baby is put into an incubator, his skin and gut are often colonized by bacteria different from his mother's.

We now know that this is true not only for the baby born at term and in good health, but also even for the premature baby. Skin to skin contact and Kangaroo Mother Care can contribute much to the care of the premature baby. Even babies on oxygen can be cared for skin to skin, and this helps reduce their needs for oxygen, and keeps them more stable in other ways as well.

From the point of view of breastfeeding, babies who are kept skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour, are more likely to latch on without any help and they are more likely to latch on well, especially if the mother did not receive medication during the labour or birth. As mentioned in "Breastfeeding - Starting out Right", a baby who latches on well gets milk more easily than a baby who latches on less well. When a baby latches on well, the mother is less likely to be sore. When a mother's milk is abundant, the baby can take the breast poorly and still get lots of milk, though the feedings may then be long or frequent or both, and the mother is more prone to develop problems such as blocked ducts and mastitis. In the first few days, however, the mother does not have a lot of milk (but she has enough!), and a good latch is important to help the baby get the milk that is available (yes, the milk is there even if someone has "proved" to you with the big pump that there isn't any). If the baby does not latch on well, the mother may be sore, and if the baby does not get milk well, the baby will want to be on the breast for long periods of time worsening the soreness.

To recap, skin to skin contact immediately after birth, which lasts for at least an hour has the following positive effects on the baby:

• Are more likely to latch on
• Are more likely to latch on well
• Have more stable and normal skin temperatures
• Have more stable and normal heart rates and blood pressures
• Have higher blood sugars
• Are less likely to cry
• Are more likely to breastfeed exclusively longer

There is no reason that the vast majority of babies cannot be skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour. Hospital routines, such as weighing the baby, should not take precedence.

The baby should be dried off and put on the mother. Nobody should be pushing the baby to do anything; nobody should be trying to help the baby latch on during this time. The mother, of course, may make some attempts to help the baby, and this should not be discouraged. The mother and baby should just be left in peace to enjoy each other's company. (The mother and baby should not be left alone, however, especially if the mother has received medication, and it is important that not only the mother's partner, but also a nurse, midwife, doula or physician stay with them—occasionally, some babies do need medical help and someone qualified should be there "just in case"). The eyedrops and the injection of vitamin K can wait a couple of hours. By the way, immediate skin to skin contact can also be done after cæsarean section, even while the mother is getting stitched up, unless there are medical reasons which prevent it.

Studies have shown that even premature babies, as small as 1200 g (2 lb 10 oz) are more stable metabolically (including the level of their blood sugars) and breathe better if they are skin to skin immediately after birth. The need for an intravenous infusion, oxygen therapy or a nasogastric tube, for example, or all the preceding, does not preclude skin to skin contact. Skin to skin contact is quite compatible with other measures taken to keep the baby healthy. Of course, if the baby is quite sick, the baby's health must not be compromised, but any premature baby who is not suffering from respiratory distress syndrome can be skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth. Indeed, in the premature baby, as in the full term baby, skin to skin contact may decrease rapid breathing into the normal range.

Even if the baby does not latch on during the first hour or two, skin to skin contact is still good and important for the baby and the mother for all the other reasons mentioned.

If the baby does not take the breast right away, do not panic. There is almost never any rush, especially in the full term healthy baby. One of the most harmful approaches to feeding the newborn has been the bizarre notion that babies must feed every three hours. Babies should feed when they show signs of being ready, and keeping a baby next to his mother will make it obvious to her when the baby is ready. There is actually not a stitch of proof that babies must feed every three hours or by any schedule, but based on such a notion, many babies are being pushed into the breast because three hours have passed. The baby not interested yet in feeding may object strenuously, and thus is pushed even more, resulting, in many cases, in babies refusing the breast because we want to make sure they take the breast. And it gets worse. If the baby keeps objecting to being pushed into the breast and gets more and more upset, then the "obvious next step" is to give a supplement. And it is obvious where we are headed

Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them

Throughout human history, breast-feeding mothers sleeping alongside their infants constituted a marvelously adaptive system in which both the mothers' and infants' sleep physiology and health were connected in beneficial ways. By sleeping next to its mother, the infant receives protection, warmth, emotional reassurance, and breast milk - in just the forms and quantities that nature intended.

This sleeping arrangement permits mothers (and fathers) to respond quickly to the infant if it cries, chokes, or needs its nasal passages cleared, its body cooled, warmed, caressed, rocked or held. This arrangement thus helps to regulate the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned. In this way, the infant regulates its mother's biology, too; increased breast-feeding blocks ovulation, which helps to ensure that pregnancies will not ordinarily occur until the mother's body is able to restore the fat and iron reserves needed for optimal maternal health.

It is a curious fact that in Western societies the practice of mothers, fathers and infants sleeping together came to be thought of as strange, unhealthy and dangerous. Western parents are taught that "co-sleeping" will make the infant too dependent on them, or risk accidental suffocation. Such views are not supported by human experience worldwide, however, where for perhaps millions of years, infants as a matter of course slept next to at least one caregiver, usually the mother, in order to survive. At some point in recent history, infant separateness with low parental contact during the night came to be advocated by child care specialists, while infant-parent interdependence with high parental contact came to be discouraged. In fact, the few psychological studies which are available suggest that children who have "co-slept" in a loving and safe environment become better adjusted adults than those who were encouraged to sleep without parental contact or reassurance.

The fear of suffocating infants has a long and complex cultural history. Since before the middle ages "overlying" or suffocating infants deliberately was common, particularly among the poor in crowded cities. This form of infanticide led local church authorities to make laws forbidding parents to let infants sleep next to them. The practice of giving infants alcohol or opiates to get them to sleep also became common; under such conditions, babies often did not wake up, and it was presumed that the mothers must have overlaid them. Also, in smoke-filled, under-ventilated rooms, infants can easily succumb to asphyxia. Unfortunately, health officials in some Western countries promote the message that sleep contact between the mother and infant increases the chances of the infant dying from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). But the research on which this message is based only indicates that bed-sharing can be dangerous when it occurs in the context of extreme poverty or when the mother is a smoker. Some researchers have attempted to export this message to other cultures. However, in Japan, for example, where co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS rates are among the lowest in the world, which suggests that this arrangement may actually help to prevent SIDS.

Human infants need constant attention and contact with other human beings because they are unable to look after themselves. Unlike other mammals, they cannot keep themselves warm, move about, or feed themselves until relatively late in life. It is their extreme neurological immaturity at birth and slow maturation that make the mother-infant relationship so important. The human infant's brain is only about 25% of its adult weight at birth, whereas most other mammals are born with 60-90% of their adult brain size. The young of most other mammals become independent of their parents within a year, whereas humans take 14 to 17 years to become fully developed physically, and usually longer than that to be fully independent.

Apart from being a natural characteristic of our species, constant proximity to the mother during infancy is also made necessary by the need to feed frequently. Human milk is composed of relatively low amounts of protein and fat, and high amounts of quickly absorbed and metabolized sugars. Therefore the infant's hunger cycle is short, as is the time spent in deep sleep. All of these factors seem to indicate that the custom of separating infants from their parents during sleep time is more the result of cultural history than of fundamental physiological or psychological needs. Sleep laboratory studies have shown that bed-sharing, instead of sleeping in separate rooms, almost doubled the number of breast-feeding episodes and tripled the total nightly duration of breast-feeding. Infants cried much less frequently when sleeping next to their mothers, and spent less time awake. We think that the more frequently infants are breast-fed, the less likely they are to die from cot death.

Our scientific studies of mother and infants sleeping together have shown how tightly bound together the physiological and social aspects of the mother-infant relationship really are. 

Other studies have shown that separation of the mother and infant has adverse consequences. Anthropological considerations also suggest that separation between the mother and infant should be minimal. Western societies must consider carefully how far and under what circumstances they want to push infants away from the loving and protective co-sleeping environment. Infants' nutritional, emotional and social needs as well as maternal responses to them have evolved in this environment for millennia.

by James J. McKenna