7 Ways to Stay Awake During Middle of the Night Nursing Sessions

Nursing mamas, let's get real for a second: the ability to feed your baby by pulling out a boob is pretty convenient, but there's one part that always throws me for a loop: the middle-of-the-night feed. Simply put: getting up to breastfeed in the middle of the night is kind of a drag. Sleeping when you have little ones is highly coveted, so waking up to a crying and hungry baby puts a slight damper on that glorious sleep.

I'm no stranger to the MOTN nursing session; I breastfed my first daughter for 16 months, and I'm currently exclusively breastfeeding my six-month-old baby. I'm not a whiz at math, but I know that combined, that's almost two years of being awake a whole heck of a lot in the middle of the night.

During those early newborn days, especially if you have a baby who likes to nurse forever, staying awake when the rest of the house is fast asleep can be extremely difficult. Sometimes I even have to turn on a light just to keep myself awake, while my precious little one sleeps on the boob, gulping down her midnight (and 2 am, and 4 am) snack in her “dream feed.” (And don't worry, there are plenty of times when she comes into bed with us and I catch some zzz's while nursing her–gotta love the side-laying position!)

I have some tricks up my sleeve that may help you keep your eyes wide open when all they'd rather do is close and go back to sleep.

Here are 7 Ways to Stay Awake During Middle of the Night Nursing Sessions:

#Way 1

Read a Book. It's no secret that moms have very little time to themselves once little ones come around, but one of the things I've missed from my kid-less days is reading. I have a Kindle app on my phone, and during each MOTN feed I pick up right where I've left off. Since the beginning of this year I've already read a dozen books with this method! The books I'm reading aren't super complicated, but they're fun, easy reads that help keep me awake long enough to nurse the baby. The bonus part to this is that I recently joined a book club; so nursing in the middle of the night is essentially helping me make friends! Win/win.

#Way 2 

Clean Out Your Phone Book. In this day and age, it's probably safe to say that your Rolodex is now stored on your phone, and if you're anything like me, you have dozens of numbers stored on there you probably don't need in there anymore. It's also extremely safe to say that you reallydon't have time in your day-to-day life to do something as mundane as looking through your list of contacts for people to delete. Well, now that you're up at oh-dark-thirty, you have plenty of time on your hands to take care of business.

 #Way 3

Play a Game. Nothing can make you doze-off faster than being bored and sleepy. Put that brain to work by playing a game on your phone. Words with Friends, Scrabble, or even that matching game you have on there for your toddler … anything that will make you think. I play games against friends, and you'd be surprised how many other moms are up right around the same time you are. Just don't be surprised if your baby finishes eating and you're still awake trying to get through just one more round. 

 #Way 4

Edit Those Pictures. I typically don't have time to post pictures during the day since I snap around a million photos on my phone just to get that one decent picture of my girls. When I'm breastfeeding I have some extra downtime to scroll through all my pictures, find the ones I like, and get them up on social media or into an email for the grandparents.

 #Way 5

Binge Watch TV. My first daughter was a marathon nurser, meaning she paced herself and was in it for the long haul for each feed. Thankfully, we had a subscription to Netflix, so I binge watched shows in the middle of the night. Consider this an opportunity to catch up on all those shows you've been meaning to watch someday.

 #Way 6

Get Some Food and Pour a Drink. Drinking water is essential to keeping up a good milk supply, so pour a tall glass of water (or keep a water bottle handy on your nightstand), to drink while nursing. During the early days when I was still establishing my supply (and ravenous any time I nursed), I even made some “booby bites” and kept several on my nightstand so I could tame my rumbling tummy during a MOTN feed.

 #Way 7

Get Out of Bed. If you're not keen on cosleeping, and don't want to risk falling asleep with the baby in your bed, get out of your bed and feed her in another room. The act of getting out of bed and walking somewhere else will help wake you up–then use one of the tips above to stay awake.

Author,

Jessica Lynn       

Breastfeeding Baby Refuses Bottle

QUESTION:

I'm trying to get my 3-month-old son to take a bottle for when I have to go out, and he absolutely refuses. I've tried every different nipple on the market, and he just won't drink from them - even when it's my breast milk. How can I get him to do this so that I can leave my son with his dad, or anybody for that matter, without worrying that he is screaming because he's so hungry?

Name Withheld

---

JAN'S REPLY:

I understand your concerns - in fact I remember when I had this same question years ago. I'll try to give you the information that helped me to better understand and to meet my son's needs.

It can be worrisome for loving parents to think that their baby may be in a situation in which an important need such as hunger cannot be satisfied. However, a bottle is not a good solution. Many babies will suck only from one or the other, breast or bottle. One reason for this is that the sucking method is, surprisingly, quite different. A baby who is breastfeeding successfully can become confused by something that requires a different sucking method. But I would not recommend that you teach him how to drink from a bottle, even if you could do so. If he were to successfully learn to suck from a bottle nipple (or a pacifier), that could bring about what is termed "nipple confusion" and interfere with his ability to nurse properly. As there are literally hundreds of benefits of breastfeeding, both physical and emotional, for both baby and mother, anything at all that might interfere with this extremely beneficial relationship should be avoided.

Your son has good survival instincts! While his resistance to bottles may be frustrating for you, your baby is strongly communicating his legitimate need to be with you as much as possible. Bottles, even when filled with breastmilk, cannot satisfy a baby's emotional need for the mother's presence. For the early months and years, it is essential that he have full opportunity to bond first with his mother - only then can he successfully move on to bonded relationships with his father and, later, with other persons.

Breastfeeding, beyond all of its many physical benefits, has the added bonus of requiring the mother's presence. A baby has no sense of time and no way of knowing that an absent mother will ever return, yet he understands that her presence is essential. Thus her absence can be quite terrifying. For this reason, it is imperative to keep absences to the barest minimum (in terms of length of time and number of times), and if it is absolutely essential to leave him, try to be gone as short a time as possible, and to schedule things so that you are gone between feedings, or during naps, rather than during a time when he is apt to be hungry.

If a separation is absolutely unavoidable during a time when he is hungry, perhaps he will accept expressed breastmilk from a spoon. In a relatively short time, he will be able to drink from a cup. However, I offer these suggestions reluctantly and definitely not as a routine solution, but only as something that might be used in a rare, emergency situation. It would be far better to avoid separations as much as possible, and to carefully schedule any departures that cannot be avoided. In fact I urge you to make every effort to avoid such departures altogether if possible. Not only do alternate feeding methods interfere with his ability to nurse from you, but more significantly, all separations can interfere to some degree with his developing sense of trust and security.

I would like to stress an important practical consideration that is often overlooked. Sometimes parents assume that a baby will not be welcome or appropriate in a certain situation, when in fact they may be pleasantly surprised if they ask to bring the baby along. Many parents have had the frustrating discovery of attending a function without their baby or child, only to find that others have brought theirs along. If a mother must attend a function where babies are definitely not allowed, she can ask that the baby be brought to her for nursing breaks. Requests like this can even help others in society to become more aware of the critical importance of breastfeeding and bonding. With such a request - even if it is denied - a mother can contribute to the process of social change. In many countries of the world, babies and children are far more welcome in "adult" settings than in North America. It is time to request and advocate change in this area!

It is not only the baby who finds separation difficult. Breastfeeding mothers quite naturally find that they also become uneasy when separated from their baby. The following is excerpted from the La Leche League book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (New York: Penguin Books, 1991):

"You won't want to leave your baby any more than you have to because babies need their mothers. It's a need that is as basic and intense as his need for food. 'That's all well and good,' you may be thinking, 'but what about me? I have needs too.' Of course a mother has needs, and sometimes other responsibilities and obligations cause a mother to be away from her baby more than she wants to be. But you may be surprised to find how strong the bond is that develops between you and your baby. A mother often finds that when she does leave her baby for that long-awaited 'night out', she worries so much about how the baby is getting along that she doesn't really enjoy the occasion!"

I also recommend Dr. Kimmel's short book, Whatever Happened to Mother?, which explores the nature and importance of mother-child bonding.

Author,

Jan Hunt

The Importance of Skin to Skin Contact

There are now a multitude of studies that show that mothers and babies should be together, skin to skin (baby naked, not wrapped in a blanket) immediately after birth, as well as later. The baby is happier, the baby's temperature is more stable and more normal, the baby's heart and breathing rates are more stable and more normal, and the baby's blood sugar is more elevated. Not only that, skin to skin contact immediately after birth allows the baby to be colonized by the same bacteria as the mother. This, plus breastfeeding, are thought to be important in the prevention of allergic diseases. When a baby is put into an incubator, his skin and gut are often colonized by bacteria different from his mother's.

We now know that this is true not only for the baby born at term and in good health, but also even for the premature baby. Skin to skin contact and Kangaroo Mother Care can contribute much to the care of the premature baby. Even babies on oxygen can be cared for skin to skin, and this helps reduce their needs for oxygen, and keeps them more stable in other ways as well.

From the point of view of breastfeeding, babies who are kept skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour, are more likely to latch on without any help and they are more likely to latch on well, especially if the mother did not receive medication during the labour or birth. As mentioned in "Breastfeeding - Starting out Right", a baby who latches on well gets milk more easily than a baby who latches on less well. When a baby latches on well, the mother is less likely to be sore. When a mother's milk is abundant, the baby can take the breast poorly and still get lots of milk, though the feedings may then be long or frequent or both, and the mother is more prone to develop problems such as blocked ducts and mastitis. In the first few days, however, the mother does not have a lot of milk (but she has enough!), and a good latch is important to help the baby get the milk that is available (yes, the milk is there even if someone has "proved" to you with the big pump that there isn't any). If the baby does not latch on well, the mother may be sore, and if the baby does not get milk well, the baby will want to be on the breast for long periods of time worsening the soreness.

To recap, skin to skin contact immediately after birth, which lasts for at least an hour has the following positive effects on the baby:

• Are more likely to latch on
• Are more likely to latch on well
• Have more stable and normal skin temperatures
• Have more stable and normal heart rates and blood pressures
• Have higher blood sugars
• Are less likely to cry
• Are more likely to breastfeed exclusively longer

There is no reason that the vast majority of babies cannot be skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour. Hospital routines, such as weighing the baby, should not take precedence.

The baby should be dried off and put on the mother. Nobody should be pushing the baby to do anything; nobody should be trying to help the baby latch on during this time. The mother, of course, may make some attempts to help the baby, and this should not be discouraged. The mother and baby should just be left in peace to enjoy each other's company. (The mother and baby should not be left alone, however, especially if the mother has received medication, and it is important that not only the mother's partner, but also a nurse, midwife, doula or physician stay with them—occasionally, some babies do need medical help and someone qualified should be there "just in case"). The eyedrops and the injection of vitamin K can wait a couple of hours. By the way, immediate skin to skin contact can also be done after cæsarean section, even while the mother is getting stitched up, unless there are medical reasons which prevent it.

Studies have shown that even premature babies, as small as 1200 g (2 lb 10 oz) are more stable metabolically (including the level of their blood sugars) and breathe better if they are skin to skin immediately after birth. The need for an intravenous infusion, oxygen therapy or a nasogastric tube, for example, or all the preceding, does not preclude skin to skin contact. Skin to skin contact is quite compatible with other measures taken to keep the baby healthy. Of course, if the baby is quite sick, the baby's health must not be compromised, but any premature baby who is not suffering from respiratory distress syndrome can be skin to skin with the mother immediately after birth. Indeed, in the premature baby, as in the full term baby, skin to skin contact may decrease rapid breathing into the normal range.

Even if the baby does not latch on during the first hour or two, skin to skin contact is still good and important for the baby and the mother for all the other reasons mentioned.

If the baby does not take the breast right away, do not panic. There is almost never any rush, especially in the full term healthy baby. One of the most harmful approaches to feeding the newborn has been the bizarre notion that babies must feed every three hours. Babies should feed when they show signs of being ready, and keeping a baby next to his mother will make it obvious to her when the baby is ready. There is actually not a stitch of proof that babies must feed every three hours or by any schedule, but based on such a notion, many babies are being pushed into the breast because three hours have passed. The baby not interested yet in feeding may object strenuously, and thus is pushed even more, resulting, in many cases, in babies refusing the breast because we want to make sure they take the breast. And it gets worse. If the baby keeps objecting to being pushed into the breast and gets more and more upset, then the "obvious next step" is to give a supplement. And it is obvious where we are headed

A Time to Wean

In the United States, women receive conflicting advice about when to wean their children completely from breastfeeding. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends one year, while WHO and UNICEF recommend at least two years. Many physicians consider six months to be "extended" breastfeeding, and some health professionals question the motives of women who nurse for more than a year. In turn, women may hide the fact that they are still nursing an older child from disapproving health care professionals or family members. From anthropological research, we know that in many non-Western cultures children are routinely nursed for three to four years. Are they eccentric, or are we? Can we look to other animals to determine what the natural age at weaning would be in modern humans if it was not modified by cultural beliefs?

Like all mammals, humans have mammary glands that function to nurture their offspring. Within the class Mammalia, humans are members of the order Primates, and have the basic primate pattern of breastfeeding and weaning activity that has been molded by more than 65 million years of natural selection to ensure the best possible survival rate of primate offspring. This basic pattern is assumed to be primarily genetically based. In addition, a number of life-history variables are also associated with age at weaning in the non-human primates. What do these variables suggest about the "natural" age of weaning in humans?

Weaning according to tripling or quadrupling of birth weight

The idea that mammals wean their offspring when they have tripled their birth weight is widely reported in the breastfeeding literature (Lawrence 1989). This rule of thumb holds true for small-bodied mammals, but not for larger ones. Recent research has looked at age at weaning and at growth among large mammals, including primates. The research shows that weaning occurs some months after quadrupling of the birth weight, rather than tripling (Lee, Majluf and Gordon 1991). When do U.S. infants typically quadruple their birth weight? For males, the average age is around 27 months, and for females, around 30 months.

Weaning according to attainment of one-third adult weight

Other studies suggest that primates are like other mammals in weaning each offspring when they reach about one-third their adult weight (Charnov and Berrigan 1993). Humans come in different sizes, but 4 to 7 years of nursing would be the weaning age for humans using this method of comparison, with boys generally being nursed longer than girls, and large-bodied populations nursing longer than small-bodied groups.

Weaning according to adult body size

Harvey and Clutton-Brock (1985) published a study of life-history variables in primates, including a formula for calculating age at weaning based on adult female body weight. The equation predicts an age at weaning for humans at between 2.8 and 3.7 years, depending on average adult female body weight, with larger-bodied populations nursing the longest.

Weaning according to gestation length

It is often reported in the literature that, among mammals in general, weaning age is approximately the same as the length of gestation (Lawrence 1989). By this criterion, weaning in humans might be expected to take place after only nine months of breastfeeding. However, this one-to-one relationship is greatly affected by the adult size of the animal. For many small-bodied primates, the duration of breastfeeding is shorter than the length of gestation. Among large-bodied primate species, the duration of breastfeeding far exceeds the average length of gestation. For humankind's closest relatives, the chimpanzee and the gorilla, the duration of breastfeeding is more than six times the length of gestation. Humans are among the largest of the primates, and share more than 98 percent of their genetic material with chimpanzees and gorillas. Based on these comparisons, an estimated natural age at weaning for humans would be a minimum of six times gestational length, or 4.5 years.

Weaning according to dental eruption

According to the research of Smith (1991), many primates wean their offspring when they are erupting their first permanent molars. First permanent molar eruption occurs around 5.5 to 6.0 years in modern humans. It is interesting to note that achievement of adult immune competence in humans also occurs at approximately six years of age, suggesting that throughout our recent evolutionary past, the active immunities provided by breast milk were normally available to the child until about this age (Fredrickson).

Our evolutionary past has produced an organism that relies on breastfeeding to provide the context for physical, cognitive, and emotional development. The human primate data suggest that human children are designed to receive all of the benefits of breast milk and breastfeeding for an absolute minimum of two and a half years, and an apparent upper limit of around seven years. Natural selection has favored those infants with a strong, genetically coded blueprint that programs them to expect nursing to continue for a number of years after birth and results in the urge to suckle remaining strong for this entire period. Many societies today are able to meet a child's nutritional needs with modified adult foods after the age of three or four years. Western, industrialized societies can compensate for some (but not all) of the immunological benefits of breastfeeding with antibiotics, vaccines and improved sanitation. But the physical, cognitive, and emotional needs of the young child persist. Health care professionals, parents, and the general public should be made aware that somewhere between three and seven years may be a reasonable and appropriate age of weaning for humans, however uncommon it may be in the United States to nurse an infant through toddlerhood and beyond.

7 BREASTFEEDING TIPS FOR MOMS-TO-BE

It’s tempting to get so wrapped up in planning and thinking about our labor and birth (and the nursery color scheme!) that we can easily forget that we actually have to care for our sweet littles once they’re out.

One of the biggest areas of concern for first-time-moms is breastfeeding. And it should be – it’s a huge deal both in terms of nourishment and comfort of the baby, as well as commitment and work for the new mother.

Unfortunately breastfeeding—as natural as it is—can also be difficult for some.

Every woman experiences it differently – some with very little problem, others with challenges they never even dreamed of.

Although there’s no way of knowing for certain how exactly your body and baby will respond, there are a few measures you can take to prepare yourself.

HERE ARE SEVEN SIMPLE WAYS TO HELP YOU GET READY FOR TAKING ON THE BREASTFEEDING LEARNING CURVE.

1) GET EDUCATED.

Attend a breastfeeding class, find some breastfeeding resources online, read an informative book, and/or ask to speak with a lactation consultant if possible. You can’t put a pricetag on good information and it will help empower you for the journey and task ahead! Learn about the benefits of breastfeeding, the mechanics of it, the stages of how your breasts and milk change and develop, as well as the common difficulties that women encounter (latch issues, engorgement, blocked ducts, mastitis, etc). The more you know, the more likely you are to perservere in the event that things get off to a rocky start. (One of the best comprehensive online resources I’ve found is www.kellymom.com)

2) GET TALKING.

As much as you’re able, try to share your desires to breastfeed as well as how it all works with your partner. Talk about your reasons/motivations, your goals and level of commitment, as well as how it all works. Also talk about some of the potential issues that commonly arise and the fact that the first several weeks can be tricky. (Assure him that it normally gets easier and more “normal” by about week six, if not sooner.) It will help him to feel a little more included as he looks on from the outside to this special part of parenthood reserved exclusively for mothers. If he feels informed and included he’s much more likely to support you (and understand why you are trying to stick with it in the event a problem arises). Ideally, get him to attend a breastfeeding information workshop with you.

3) GET FRIENDS.

Try to find two or three mom-friends who have sucessfully breastfed their babies that you can call on when you need to. Most likely you will have questions as you go and you’ll need real-time support in some form or another – whether it’s another woman to problem-solve with or just for a word of encouragement in a moment of difficulty. Experienced friends can be a lifesaver.

4) GET SOOTHIES.

Buy some soothies or other similar gel pads that can be refrigerated between uses. These simple pads help sooth sore nipples between feeds and are especially helpful during the first few weeks while your breasts are adjusting to all of the changes. (And your sweet little cherub/barracuda!) An experienced friend sent me some when I had my first baby and they were the best gift I didn’t know I needed!(Tip: if you can’t find gel pads in a store near you, or just don’t want to spend the money, you can also use frozen cabbage leaves to accomplish the same cooling sensation.)

5) GET SUPPLIES.

Have a box of breast pads on hand to absorb excess milk so you don’t get stuck with embarassing leaky boobs in public (or have to do any more laundry than you absolutely have to). You should also pick up a small tube of Lansinoh nipple cream (or another recommended brand) in case you get sore, cracked nipples. Be warned though – don’t go stockpiling these things because you may not end up needing them. (Leaking isn’t a given – I never did end up using more than a few breast pads. Of course that did mean a couple of my friends were very grateful for my unused donations!)

6) GET SUPPORT.

Literally. As in… nursing tanks or bras! I’m personally a big fan of nursing tank tops. They are so comfortable and easy to get started in since you don’t have to mess with both a bra and a shirt at once. (Invaluable for those first few weeks and the steep learning curve.) Use them on their own or use them under another shirt so that your belly isn’t exposed when you lift up your normal shirt (awkward!). I used nursing tanks around the clock when I started breastfeeding since they also provide a comfortable way to remain supported at night. Two years later  you can still catch me sporting these tanks. LOVE them!!

7) GET COVERED.

Many people aren’t comfortable with public breastfeeding. If this is you, buy or make a nursing cover. It will help you feel more private and confident to breastfeed in front of others if you have a simple cover-up that allows for privacy without getting in the way of you and baby. A nursing cover allows you to see your baby (and see as you adjust yourself), and the strap that goes around your neck leaves you hands free to hold and adjust as needed. I used my nursing cover all. the. time. during my first few months breastfeeding and have since bought them as baby shower gifts for nearly all of my pregnant friends. (Warning: there comes a time when most babies disdain these covers which limit their curious, growing minds and ability to look around while they feed! By then you should be much more comfortable with your own abilities and body anyway, so most likely it won’t be a drama.)