5 Things Every Toddler Mom is Grateful For

Oh, toddlers. There's so much to love about the wonderful, complex little beings that are neither baby nor kid. There are the words beginning to come together into sentences, the slobbery kisses and hugs that turn into snuggles, and the way those little voices sound the first time they say “I love you” without being prompted. There's the sound of little feet stomping across the kitchen and the way they look at you, every minute or so, just to see what you're doing. Along with all the wonderful joys of toddlerhood though come all the dinners strewn across the floor, the red-faced shouts of “do-it-by-self!”, and the tantrums on the floor of the grocery store. As much as we know that these hard parts of toddlerhood are good, that they are discoveries of independence and testing of boundaries, they can also be really dang hard. As those hard parts arise, toddler moms find themselves particularly grateful for many of the modern conveniences of mom life.

Along with all the wonderful joys of toddlerhood, though, come all the dinners strewn across the floor, the red-faced shouts of “do-it-by-self!”, and the tantrums on the floor of the grocery store. As much as we know that these hard parts of toddlerhood are good — that they are discoveries of independence and testing of boundaries — they can also be really dang hard. As those hard parts arise, toddler moms find themselves particularly grateful for many of the modern conveniences of mom life.

Dry shampoo

Good old dry shampoo. I bet you thought that your long nights and showerless days would end as your newborn grew and transitioned to a baby and then to a toddler. Alas, the challenges of having a newborn are different than that of having a toddler, but you still might find yourself tired, un-showered, and in deep need of that can of dry shampoo your ever-so-kind sister gave you when you brought the baby home.

Grilled cheese, strawberries, and Cheerios

Remember when you were pregnant and spent hours researching how to make your own baby food?

Yeah …

By this point in parenthood, you've probably adjusted your expectations a few times, but it can still feel uber frustrating when you prep that fabulous spaghetti squash dinner for your toddler and it, again, ends up nowhere but the floor. At times like these, toddler moms are beyond grateful for their little one's “always” foods — for my kid, that's grilled cheese, strawberries, and Cheerios.

Grandparents who let Mama sleep in on the weekends

For toddler parents, there's nothing like a weekend at home with Mom and Dad. Home-cooked meals (cooked by someone else), a fire in the fireplace (made by someone else), and the RARE chance to sleep in while someone else watches your little one. Parents of any age are thankful for extra sleep, but toddler moms count their blessings, thank their lucky stars, and pull the covers up over their head when it actually happens.

Clifford the Big Red Dog

Or Curious George or Elmo or Pooh … Toddler moms are thankful for their little one's favorite character for the love, comfort, and giggles they give them. When everything is going wrong in a toddler life — the lunch isn't right, the nap is too late, the socks are just too scratchy — their favorite character, in book, lovey, or TV form, always offers comfort that toddler moms are beyond grateful for.

Hand-me-downs and kid thrift shops

Everyone told you they grow up fast, but what they didn't tell you was to never, ever buy clothes new. I learned this lesson when my 9-pound, 9-pound newborn never got the chance to wear a single item of the newborn layette I bought him. Toddler moms know that their kids grow way too quickly for new clothes and are thankful for all the hand-me-downs that come their way and the kid thrift shops they use to complete their kiddo's wardrobes.

Colic? How to Calm Your Crying Baby

All babies cry. Most babies cry a lot. Some babies are more easily comforted, others can routinely work themselves into a frenzy. Of course it sends your heart racing. That's Mother Nature's way of insuring that the human race survives.

"She cries a lot. How do I know if this is colic?"

Colic is traditionally defined as 3 hours or more of daily crying, at least three times a week. 20% of babies are officially diagnosed with colic. But you could think of colic as simply crying that goes on and on and does not seem to have a cause.

It probably doesn't matter if it's actually colic, unless when your baby's crying gets almost unbearable, it helps you to remember that there's nothing wrong with you or him; it's just colic. Whether it's actually colic, or just lots of crying, it is always stressful, and it helps to know that it's normal, it won't last more than 3 months, and you will eventually have a perfectly cheerful baby.

"What causes all this crying?"

I'm assuming you've eliminated the obvious causes -- i.e., the baby has been fed and burped and changed, and you've picked her up and moved around jiggling her, but the crying has continued. If you haven't tried all this, start there.

The truth is that we don't know what causes colic. There may be differing contributing causes for different babies, such as sensitivity to formula, food allergies, or gastrointestinal upset.

In one study of colicky babies, when the moms stopped drinking cow's milk, half the babies' colic vanished. The other half, unfortunately, kept crying.

One easy thing to try that helps many irritable babies is to cut down on the foremilk they're eating. You do this by pumping a little milk, throwing it away, and then nursing your baby. That's because the initial milk -- the foremilk -- that comes out when the baby begins nursing is especially rich. Some moms make a lot of it, and some babies have such delicate digestion that it irritates them. By skipping some of the foremilk, the baby can digest the milk better, and for many babies, their crying stops.

Another miracle cure for colic was reported in the January 2007 issue of Pediatrics. The researchers had a 95% success rate by giving babies probiotics AND eliminating cow's milk. They gave colicy babies who were breastfeeding 5 drops daily of beneficial gut bacteria (the probiotic L. reuteri). All the moms were asked to eliminate cows milk from their diet. 95% of the probiotic babies improved, as opposed to only 7 percent of the control babies, with crying improving somewhat in the first week and dramatically within a month. If this study is repeated with the same results by other researchers, probiotics will soon be prescribed as the cure for colic. In the meantime, any parent with a colicky baby will probably want to conduct their own private experiment to see if it works on their baby.

They must be dazzled and overwhelmed by the feast for the senses that greets them with every new day in the world. Their brains and nervous systems need time to mature so they can handle all the stimulation we take for granted.

"He didn't cry much for the first couple of weeks, but now he cries every evening for a few hours!"

This is very common. As babies become more aware of their surroundings, and stay awake for longer periods during the day, they cry more. It may be that the beneficial bacteria that was in her gut from your body is now gone, or that as babies get more and more stimulated all day, and by evening, have no other way to relieve their anxiety. In any case, the result is the behavior we call colic: crying for many hours, often late into the night.

"But I don't know how to comfort her and I feel so inept!"

After attending to your infant's physical health and safety, learning to comfort her is one of the most important tasks you face. That's not because crying is so terrible for infants, but because your feeling like a competent parent is a crucial building block in your relationship with her. The most effective way to reduce crying is to recreate a womb-like environment for your baby. Below, I tell you how to do that.

But while you can probably reduce your baby's crying, I urge you to let yourself off the hook here. There may be absolutely nothing you can do except hold her. Haven't you had times when what you needed was just to cry and to have someone there so you wouldn't feel so alone?

"But I worry that there might be something wrong with him!"

Every parent worries when their baby cries and they don't know why. But if you've looked for obvious causes (did you eat spicy food before you nursed him? Have you eliminated milk from your diet if you're nursing? Changed his formula?) and his doctor sees him regularly and has pronounced him thriving, you can rest assured that crying -- even long periods of incessant crying -- is considered normal for infants in our society, and there is nothing wrong with your baby.

"Why do you say it's normal in our society? Don't babies cry everywhere?"

Actually, no. In cultures where the infant is held or worn fairly constantly, colic is apparently virtually unknown and babies rarely cry for long. We don't know if that's the baby wearing or the diet in those cultures, or something else entirely.

"Is there a reason to think that baby-wearing helps?"

Research shows that babies who are held or carried more (both during the colic spells and at other times) are definitely less susceptible to colic. It is possible that wearing babies is so soothing that they are less overwhelmed throughout the day and build up less tension. I used to think of myself as the lightning rod for my infants.

But another way to interpret this data is just that some babies need to be held virtually all the time. When they are put down, they cry. When they are picked up, they often stop.

"I do hold and carry my baby a lot. But in the evening, it seems that isn't enough, and he just cries and cries."

Sometimes holding is not enough, and babies don’t stop crying unless they are walked, jostled, danced, bounced, rocked or subjected to some other rhythmic motion, which seems to dissipate their tension. I ruined a mattress with each of our babies, because I found that holding them while jumping on the bed soothed them better than anything during that first three months, and wearing out the mattress seemed a small price to pay for a happy baby.

Whatever movement your baby responds to, it takes a lot of energy. But it is infinitely better than listening to a baby cry. And the gift to your baby is enormous, as he gets the message that you can be depended on when he’s miserable.

"I’ve tried everything: wearing her much of the day in a snuggly, holding, soothing, swaddling, rhythmic motion, adding probiotics to her diet, giving up milk in mine. She's still crying! What do I do?"

You witness. Sometimes people, especially babies, just need to cry. You override any needling suspicion in your mind that there is anything wrong with your parenting by reminding yourself that “Sometimes people just need to cry” and you hold your child, and she cries, and you do whatever you need to do to stay sane.

If you can pay attention to her, sing to her, empathize, that’s great. If not, then put on headphones and listen to music that blocks out her crying. Don’t be surprised if holding her, in your new calm state, helps her to stop crying, especially if you start dancing or singing to the music on your headphones.

"I just can't calm down when he cries like this. Even when I put the headphones on, the crying seems to reverberate in my head. It's driving me crazy!"

If you can’t calm yourself, put the baby down. It helps babies to be held while they cry (true for most of us) but not if the adult is experiencing extreme anger or anxiety.

If you think you might lose control and shake the baby, it simply isn’t worth taking that chance. Put the baby in a safe place (crib, car seat, strapped in a baby seat or swing) and shut the door to that room. Put on headphones so that you can’t hear the crying through the door. Now do whatever you need to do to calm yourself down. Step outside for a moment or open the window, and breath in some fresh air. Feel your tension draining out through your feet. Call another adult to come over. Remind yourself not to take the crying personally, and that this too shall pass.

It also might help you to remember the old proverb about children each offering a finite amount of grief to their parents, just so you know that you’re getting it over with up front and the teenage years will be easy!

"I buy the idea that babies need another month or two in a womb-like environment to mature. But what do I do to create a womb-like environment for my baby?"

Techniques to Use When Your Baby Cries

These are techniques to use when your baby cries, but they are also preventive tools to keep your infant from getting over-stimulated all day long:

1. Hold or wear your baby

...as much as you can. As Dr. Sears says: “In counseling parents of fussy babies, we strive for two goals: to mellow the temperament of the baby and to increase the sensitivity of the parents. Babywearing helps foster both of these goals. By creating an organized, womblike, environment, wearing lessens a baby’s need to cry." An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

2. Swaddle your baby.

Most newborns like to be wrapped securely. It reminds them of their snug womb. I hasten to add that as always you should listen to your baby, since there are babies who don't like to be swaddled. And of course no baby as babies get older they need to move so you'll want to swaddle only for sleeping, and only then if it helps the crying.

3. Rhythmic motion:

Again, reminiscent of the womb. Rocking works for some babies, but most of the time when they're upset, more intense motion is called for. Some parents swear by baby swings or baby hammocks, others by putting the baby in a car seat and driving. But these techniques have their limits, usually the infant needs to be held at the same time that they're moving. Some parents dance, some go up and down steps, some jump on mattresses, many develop the bobbing, swaying motion I call the Mom's dance. Experiment to see what works for your baby.

4. White Noise:

Soothing sounds can muffle or block out the jarring traffic horns or even voices that can jangle and over-stimulate baby nerves. I found new age chanting to be effective, some people swear by their vacuum cleaner or white noise machine, others just whisper repetitive shushing noises. You don't need to be loud enough to shock or scare your child, just provide a soothing, calming, repetitive sound.

5. Nurse your baby.

For some babies, nursing is a guaranteed instant soother. Why work any harder than that if you don't have to? And, for the record, babies fed on a schedule are more likely to have colic. Feed your baby whenever he or she asks, and colic is less likely.

6. Explore other "cures."

Some babies have food allergies, and if you change the formula, or if the breastfeeding mother changes her diet, the crying stops. Often a diet free of cows milk, wheat, or other common allergens is a miracle cure. Every parent of a colicky baby should try probiotics, as mentioned above. Some moms swear by infant massage. If you try all these suggestions and your baby keeps crying, by all means talk to your doctor, and keep asking the parents you know what worked for them. And hang in there. Sooner or later, your little screamer will be a perfectly charming baby.

What to Do About a Kid Who Gets Angry A LOT

I once worked with a five-year-old by who could switch from pure excitement to intense anger or frustration in a matter of seconds. One small (or large) trigger and this little boy turned red in the face and erupted into a huge tantrum. The tantrums weren't long, but they were intense. This left his mom feeling overwhelmed and concerned.

When his mom first sat down on my couch, she appeared completely exhausted. She had tried everything. She had clear limits and rules. She was consistent. Bedtime never changed. She tried adjusting his diet to include high protein snacks. She didn't overschedule. And yet, nothing seemed to work.

High-intensity children can be difficult to decode. They tend to experience all of their emotions with more intensity than other kids. During moments of high-pitched laughter, emotional intensity doesn't cause much worry. But when kids shift to intense anger, frustration or sadness, parents worry.

Anger and frustration are very powerful emotions, and many children tend to struggle with processing and coping with these big feelings. The result? Giant outbursts just about everywhere.

I always tell parents that more often than not, anger is simply another emotion wearing a mask. When you dig beneath the surface (after the stomping turns to tears), you tend to find sadness, fear, guilt, shame, hurt or disappointment just waiting to emerge.

Kids aren't known for their well-honed problem solving and anger management skills. That takes time and practice. It makes sense that young children struggle to work through these feelings, and it's up to us to help them out.

Talk about temperament and personality.

Some kids experience intense emotions out loud, others internalize their feelings until they fall apart. Some kids stuff their feelings in an attempt to put on a happy face every day while others express their emotions constantly. Some have tantrums and meltdowns while others hide in their rooms until the feelings pass. All kids are different.

We have a tendency to focus on behavior when kids are falling apart, but the truth is that the feelings hiding beneath the behavior are what we really need to address. We can begin to help our kids understand their emotions by talking about their temperaments and personalities.

When kids begin to figure out what makes them tick, they can predict how they might respond to certain situations (ex: I feel angry when I am left out at school) and choose to implement adaptive coping skills before they lose control.

Color your world.

We all have our own little internal worlds. We live in a culture of busy so we don't always tap into those worlds when we need to, but we all have them. When we slow down for long enough to consider our internal worlds and how our worlds respond to certain triggers and events, we learn a lot about ourselves.

Give your child a piece of white paper with a large circle drawn in the middle. Tell your child that everyone has an internal world of feelings. Stop here and talk about the range of emotions people feel on any given day. Next, ask your child to color his internal world with as many feelings as he experiences. If, for example, he gets excited a lot, he might choose a bright color and fill a large portion of his world with that color. If it's anger that takes up a lot of space, he might color a lot of red. Once the internal world is complete, talk about what kinds of things trigger each of those feelings and help your child label his world.

This is a great activity to do together because it helps parents and children talk about emotions and how we respond to different events and triggers.

Release the negative emotions.

Kids need to get their feelings out. The key to helping that little boy who was prone to tantrums and intense expression of anger was to work through his angry feelings daily. I always encourage parents to work through the hard stuff when they're calm so that kids can actually process their emotions and find strategies that work.

One of my favorite strategies from The Happy Kid Handbook is “trashcan basketball”. Ask your child to think about all of the things that made him mad or frustrated during the day. Write each of those triggers on separate pieces of paper and have your child crumple them into small balls. Now set up a free throw line not far from a trashcan. Ask your child to verbalize each trigger as he throws it into the can to let go of that feeling for the day.

Author,

Katie Hurley

How to Treat your Baby’s Eczema: an Healthy Alternative to Steroids and Prescribed Medications

If you are looking for a way to treat your baby's eczema, then this article is a must read for you. My baby used to have year-round Eczema on his face, hands, and feet. Trust me, there is nothing worst than your child having dry and itchy skin. So I decided to find natural solutions to fix my baby's eczema outbreaks besides the ointment that my doctor was prescribing for him. Guest what, I found some! There are some simple steps that you can take to reduce your baby's eczema and flare-ups. 

However, before we continue, let's define eczema.

What is Eczema?

Eczema may look different from person to person, but it is most often characterized as dry, red, and extremely itchy patches on the skin. Some people have more severe Eczema than others. Some people even have weeping or oozing Eczema. But, having Eczema is not a horrible plague. Many people have to deal with Eczema on a daily or seasonal basis. Eczema can occur on just about any part of the body and many substances have been identified as itch "triggers" for those with Eczema. 

Eczema is something that affects individuals of all ages; from young babies to adults.

What Things Should You Do to Help Your Baby Avoid Eczema Outbreaks?

Anything from changing weather conditioners to dish detergents and clothing fabrics can aggravate your baby's Eczema. If your child is susceptible to Eczema, avoid dressing him or her in wool or rough fabrics. These fabrics will only irritate their dry, itchy skin.

Also, consider getting your baby an allergy test. Although having one done is sometimes cumbersome and time consuming, but you can discover what foods, animals, carpets, or even trees cause your baby's Eczema to flare up. I used to love dressing my baby in little polyester Hawaiian shirts and shorts, but after the allergy test I learned that this was triggering my baby's eczema.

If you can't afford to have an allergy test done, consider keeping a journal. Keep a log of everything your child eats and wears. Eventually, you will discover certain patterns. That is where self-diagnosis can begin.

What can I do to treat my baby's Eczema?
There really isn't a cure for Eczema. However, there are tons of over-the-counter lotions, creams, and baths available. If you really want a high-powered solution, you may even opt to get some prescribed medications. But, there are pros and cons for both options. Here's some natural and extremely effective remedies for your baby's eczema that I discovered work best.

All-Natural Creams
The best product that I found for my baby's Eczema was Beauty 4 Ashes' eczema creams and oils. It took me awhile to find this stuff; but, boy am I glad that I did. So, let me save you time and money and give you the company's website address. It is www.discoverb4a.com.

There are virtually no all-natural Eczema products out there. Most prescribed medications for your baby are actually steroids. Unfortunately, steroids can have a harmful affect on your child's health. As a result, your baby's skin will age very quickly. Steroids are also pretty toxic and ultimately, your child will grow immune to lower dosages and require more milligrams. My recommendation, avoid prescribed medications.

As for the over-the counter stuff, you get what you pay for. Most over-the-counter products like Cortisone 10, Cortaid, or Calamine Lotion do more harm than good. Moreover, most store products have chemical emulsifiers and preservatives that actually can make your baby's skin drier, such as Aveeno and Eucerin. They are temporary, ineffective solutions. Your best bet is to buy an all-natural cream or oil that contains Eczema healing essentials and herbs. This is why I recommend Beauty 4 Ashes' Eczema products for your baby. Their products contain essential oils and herbs that are stronger and safer than any chemical alternative. Plus, their products contain skin healing Aloe Vera and skin penetrating natural oils--- and oils actually moisturize your skin better than lotions because they penetrate the dermis. If you use Beauty 4 Ashes, your baby's Eczema should get healed within a few weeks

Author,

Samantha Robinson

Pre and Post Natal Care for Mother & Baby

The miracle of pregnancy and creation of new life is one of the most magical spells that Mother Nature can cast.  Looking after yourself and your baby as best as you can is essential to the health and well-being of you both, and living as healthy and active a lifestyle as possible comes highly recommended. Doing this organically can only boost the benefits of a holistic and healthy lifestyle for mother and baby.

From pre-conception it is important that your body is at its optimum health, so here are some ways that you can give you and your child the best start possible:

If you are thinking of starting a family it is important that you eat a healthy organic diet, packed with fruit and vegetables, dairy products, protein and good carbohydrates.

Certain vitamins and minerals are particularly important to pregnant woman, these include folic acid and iron which can be taken as supplements, bought organically from health food stores.

Remember to avoid certain foods such as unpasteurised dairy products, shellfish and some types of fish and meat products.

Eating an organic, wholesome, healthy balanced diet will ensure you get all of the goodness you need without the additives.

Exercise regularly at a gentle pace.  It is important to raise your heart rate in preparation for childbirth but not to overdo it.  Ideal activities are swimming and yoga; both are excellent activities for pregnant woman, social and have many health benefits.

Many health and fitness clubs run swimming and yoga classes especially designed for pregnant woman this provides a social outlet as well as a health-giving pastime.

Speak to your midwife or doctor before embarking on any new exercise regime. Remember healthy body healthy mind. 

 

Massage your bump with organic aromatherapy oils.  The scent of the oils can invigorate you, relax you or refresh you depending on the product you chose.

Use organic skincare and cosmetics and organic household cleaners.  Your skin breathes and feeds your body, ingesting whatever is in it or your environment and ultimately exposing your unborn baby.  Using organic products eliminates the bad stuff.

When baby is born It is essential that you give your newborn the best possible start and the age-old adage that Mothers milk is best is no fairytale.  By feeding your child breast milk you are building and strengthening their immune system, and filling their tiny tum with the finest nutrients that nature can offer.

A child's skin is five times thinner than that of an adult, so it is important that what you rub into them, and put on them, is as natural as possible.  Use organic creams and lotions that contain no chemicals or preservatives.   Organic baby clothes are ideal as they too are made as naturally as possible, protecting your child's skin and body and keeping it soft and pure.

Introduce baby to organic food slowly.  A balanced healthy diet is essential in the first few years of life, and doing this organically ensures you are feeding your child the best possible without the added preservatives.

By living a healthy, holistic organic lifestyle you are giving your child the best start in life for health happiness and vitality.

Author,

Rubel Zaman