100 LITTLE THINGS ABOUT PREGNANCY, BIRTH, AND BEING A FIRST-TIME MOM

No greater joy than becoming a mom. 100 things you need to know about pregnancy, birth, and being a first time mom.

In celebration of my 100th post on this wee blog I want to share 100 things I’ve learned in the last year about pregnancy, birth, postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, caring for a baby, and being a first-time mom. I make no apologies that this will be a long post, but I really hope it serves you… or at least makes you smile. Because motherhood, after all, really is the greatest joy and privilege.

ABOUT PREGNANCY:

About pregnancy - what you need to know as a first-time-mom.

1. Don’t worry about timing your baby “just right”. Most people take a few months to get pregnant anyway.

2. Forget #1 and do everything possible to not be in your third trimester in the middle of summer. Because seriously, nine months pregnant in the height of summer sucks.

3. Your pregnant elephant ankles will return to normal. Just hang in there.

4. Take more naps. Don’t wait for the baby to be born so you can “nap when the baby naps”… He might not be a good napper.

5. Ask your husband’s employer if he can take an extra week of paternity leave if you end up having an unplanned c-section.

6. You have no idea about your capacity to burp and fart until you’re into your second trimester. Just you wait.

7. Don’t feel guilty if the gender of the baby on the ultra sound isn’t what you were expecting (or hoping for). It’s normal and will pass. (And you will be so happy about your little boy or girl that you’ll forget about it anyway.) Many women struggle with gender disappointment during pregnancy, so don’t let it rob you of your pregnancy joy.

8. Wear fitted clothes – your bump is beautiful and you look cuter without extra frump.

9. Don’t buy maternity clothes if you can get around it. Just buy a belly band or button extender and wear your normal clothes. (Until/unless that’s not an option any more.)

10. If you do buy anything, buy long tank tops that you can layer under other “normal” shirts. Or better yet, buy nursing tank tops (You will live in them during those first few postpartum months, whether you are layering over them or not.)

11. Take heart, your shoes will fit again someday.

12. Enjoy that beautiful skin. Unfortunately it doesn’t last.

13. Enjoy that hair. You will soon be losing it in copious amounts.

14. Save receipts because you really don’t need that bottle sanitizer.

15. Use your birthday money on yourself, silly girl. I know you’re excited, but that little baby will get more presents than you know what to do with.

16. Get educated about giving birth. The more you know, the more you will be empowered and the less scared you will be.

17. Have some understanding about c-sections and recovery… just case. (Ever heard of a “gentle cesarean“?)

18. It really is reasonable (and loving!) to let the lady with small children move to the front of the line. Start now.

19. Read differing parenting philosophy books and then decide for yourself what’s best for you and your family. I know it’s hard to believe, but you really are the expert.

20. In light of #19, be prepared to change your mind later if you need to.

ABOUT LABOR AND GIVING BIRTH:

About labor and birth - what you need to know as a first time mom.

21. If you want to speed up labor once your contractions have begun, use a breast pump. Oh. My. Goodness.

22. Have a birth plan but know that it’s just a plan, not a prophecy. It will look different. (Need help? Here’s how to organize and write a birth plan.)

23. Having your waters break is not a one-off gush… it continues for hours into labor. Don’t be alarmed when you have to walk around with a towel between your legs for the rest of the day. (Birth is so glamorous.)

24. Watching So You Think You Can Dance between contractions provides good distraction, but don’t get mad when they forget to pause it during contractions.

25. Giving birth is messy. Really messy. What? You know that? Ok then, remember it.

26. Remember that sometimes your midwife needs encouragement too, especially when things go wrong.

27. Make sure your husband knows how to quickly and efficiently find the ice machine.

28. Labor is hard work, but you were totally made for it. Go for it, girl.

ABOUT POSTPARTUM RECOVERY:

About postpartum recovery and the 4th trimester.

29. If you wake up drenched in sweat a week or two after giving birth, get excited about it. You’re sweating off those extra baby fluid pounds.

30. Deal with your disappointment about things that went wrong with the birth and don’t let it steal the joy of birth from you.

31. You are going to feel so overwhelmed with love – don’t try to harness it, just soak in it.

32. Who cares about getting your tiny baby on a schedule from day one? Just snuggle, snuggle, snuggle and let him sleep on your chest as much as your little heart desires. I promise you, you will not regret this. Don’t let any book or auntie tell you otherwise.

33. Yes, the world really does want to see a bajillion photos of your baby on facebook – load ‘em up. (You’ll never feel so popular as when you’re the mom of an incredibly good-looking brand-new baby.) And even if they don’t, you will NEVER regret taking all those photos. (Just give clear, repeated instructions to your husband to make sure you’re included in some of them too. Don’t shy away because of bad hair or bags under your eyes. When you’ve survived the baby years, you’ll want photographic proof that you were there – mothering victoriously.)

34. Tell hubs to stock up on Draino because at around four months post-partum you will begin to shed ungodly amounts of hair.

35. Your c-section scar will still be numb six months after the surgery, and it will sometimes still feel itchy. Just deal with it and know it’s now a badge of honor.

ABOUT BREASTFEEDING:

About breastfeeding as a brand new mom.

36. Breastfeeding will come easily and natural to you, so you have nothing to be nervous about, and just ignore all those horror stories. Unless it doesn’t. Go ahead and read a few stories (without obsessing) and prepare for both the best and worst. And practice this mantra now: I will not be defined by breastfeeding ‘success’ or ‘failure’. (Psst – no mom that’s trying hard is a failure. Perhaps banish that word from your vocabulary?)

37. Breastfeeding will be one of the absolute sweetest things you will ever do. (Need courage to breastfeed in public?)

38. Breastfeeding will sometimes feel like one of the most annoying things you ever do.

39. Breastfeeding will sometimes feel like a competition with some inanimate object while you vie for your baby’s focus and attention.

40. Breastfeeding will sometimes feel like one of the most time-consuming things you ever do. (And it is.) Hang in there, it changes before you know it and you will miss the excuse to sit down for forty-five minutes at a time like you did during the newborn phase. Later, when you’re baby’s nursing for only ten minutes at a time you’ll be thinking, What baby? Already done? No… let’s just sit here for a while snuggling.

41. Breastfeeding will be one of the wisest things you do for your baby and for you. (Still pregnant? Here’s how you can prepare for breastfeeding.)

42. Breastfeeding is the one thing only you can do with (and for) your baby. That’s a special honor that only a mama can experience. Remember to appreciate it.

ABOUT CARING FOR YOUR BABY:

About caring for your baby as a new mom. (Yes, they will poop on you. Be prepared.)

43. If you keep your baby awake too long, he will never go to sleep easily. Don’t overestimate how much awake time a newborn can handle between naptimes.

44. Don’t worry about changing your baby every time he spits up. You already have too much laundry to do. Just rub it in – ha!

45. Never judge your baby’s clothes by the numbers on the tag. If you think that cutest-ever outfit for your baby is too big to pull out, do it anyway. It’s easier than you know to miss the “right size” window.

46. When traveling on an airplane, don’t only pack a spare set of clothes for your baby – pack a spare shirt for yourself too. Just go ahead and trust me on this one.

47. I’m totally against the use of “baby TV time” (you guys know how bad it is for your kids’ development to let them watch TV as babies and toddlers, right?! experts say to wait until two years old), but go ahead and use the TV to your advantage when cutting your baby’s fingernails. (Don’t worry, when they hit the stage where this is necessary, you will know.)

48. Don’t wake your sleeping baby unless you absolutely have too. Feeding schedules, shmeeding schedules. Let the baby sleep. (You’re welcome.)

49. When your baby is a newborn, take extra care to burp him after a feed. (I like the firm, upward rub up the back. I’m also a fan of the firm thump.) It’s worth the extra few minutes to avoid gassy baby melt-downs.

50. If your baby is having a melt-down, drop everything and walk outside. It really does work every time so don’t waste your time trying to find something else more “convenient.”

51. Four months is not too early to begin teething. If in doubt, just keep sticking your finger in there to check.

52. Decide on a lullaby song for your baby so that every time you sing it they know to expect that it’s naptime/bedtime. (Just make sure that you like it, or make your own up.)

53. Just because your baby sleeps through the night consistently at a few weeks old doesn’t mean they will continue as he gets older and hungrier. Just know that in advance. Sometimes this really feels like two steps forward, one step back. (Or one step forward, two steps back.)

54. Traveling with babies is fun and adventurous and you often get to jump to the front of the line. Take advantage of kind security guards and airline officials.  No shame here, ladies, no shame. Take favors when you get them – DUH.

55. Leave the diaper bag in the car unless you really, really need it. You have enough to carry around.

56. Don’t wait months and months to introduce the bottle – you underestimate just how much you baby really does love your boobs.

57. There will be some diaper blowouts that are not worth trying to clean up outside of the bathtub.  We’re talking a right, hot mess. That goes for both you and baby.

58. Don’t be legalistic about starting solids at exactly six months old. Get educated about a baby’s gut development, but then learn to listen to your baby’s cues and trust your instincts. Don’t start them too soon (again, read up on that gut development!), but remember that something magic doesn’t just click on their half birthday.

59. It’s okay to pull your baby into bed with you sometimes when you’re just too tired to get up yet. Do what you want. (Just do it safely: bed rails are your friend, move away your blankets, safety first, ladies! . . . with comfort and convenience being a close tie for second.) And seriously, don’t worry — you’re not going to ruin them by co-sleeping. I promise you co-sleeping is not the evil that will turn them into disobedient, overly dependent narcissists. (Don’t allow any rigid parenting book to convince you otherwise.) Remember, these are BABIES. Let them act like babies. They have plenty of time to grow up. And remember, you are TIRED. Do what you need to do to get a little sleep, too. DUH.

60. There will be lots of times when the baby is crying and you don’t know why. That’s ok, babies cry. Sometimes they are trying to communicate something, but often they are releasing their big emotions and pent up baby angst. Just do your best and remember that sometimes even you specifically choose movies based on the fact that you need a good cry, too.

61. When introducing solids to your baby, strip him down to a diaper and bib, roll up your sleeves, put on goggles, and make sure an assistant is standing by (with a camera, of course).

62. Be prepared when you’re encouraging your child to learn to crawl. I know it’s fun and super cute, but there really is no turning back. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you, you overly keen first-time mom, you.)

ABOUT BEING A FIRST-TIME MOM:

About being a first-time-mom. Everything you didn't know you needed to know.

63. Never judge a parent that is bribing their baby with food… there will be times when you end up doing it too.

64. Be prepared for spontaneous mama-tears when you have love-saturated-heart moments. (And don’t rush them – they are precious.)

65. Although you already thought you were a responsible driver, you will start to drive even slower and even more cautiously. Just sayin. Your wild days are over. . . at least temporarily. (But seriously Grandma, please at least try to drive the speed limit. You don’t want to get pulled over because a cop thinks you might be driving stoned. BE NORMAL.)

66. Congratulations, you will now forever be known as “so-and-so’s” mom.

67. You will be tempted to spend more time making sure your baby looks cute than making sure you do. Keep it real, girlfriend. Brush your hair for goodness sakes.

68. Diaper bags are for carrying important things, like snacks for mommy.

69. Your baby will sleep through the night sometimes… and when he does you will have insomnia.

70. Even though you think you won’t be one of “those” parents who wants to buy their kid everything, you will come home with a big ridiculous Baby Einstein exersaucer. (And he will absolutely love it.)

71. During those first few months, be prepared to go through baby’s clothes every 3-4 weeks and pack up the too-small ones and pull out the bigger ones. (And be aware that you might get a little teary on occasion about how fast it’s all going.)

72. Even though it feels like a lot of work to think ahead and make double portions, it’s worth the effort to have homemade meals to pull out of the freezer instead of frozen pizzas on those nights. (Although frozen pizzas work too. See a theme here, ladies? Again, no shame. No shame.)

73. Write milestones down on a calendar if you’re not into doing a baby book – it’s a lot easier than scrolling back through all your facebook status updates to remember when baby learned new tricks.

74. Make sure to regularly go through your photo files and delete 30% of the millions of photos you’re taking of sweet baby. (They really are more similar than you think.) But don’t stop taking the millions.

75. Plan for “quick errands” to take twice as long as they used to. Actually, make that three times as long.

76. There will days when you want to return to work just so you can have a break.

77. Being a stay-at-home-mom is the only job in the world that doesn’t come with coffee breaks, lunch breaks, weekends, holidays, or sick days. And there’s nothing you can do about it except to learn to roll with it. You really can learn to be a SAHM without losing your marbles.

78. There will be days where you cry as much as your baby. This is normal. There will also be days when you cry more than your baby. This is also normal.

79. When your baby is going through a growth spurt, cut your to-list down to 25% and give yourself lots of grace when it comes to house work and errands.

80. You think hearing your baby say “mama” for the first time will melt your heart… It will, but know that it’s even more than that. It will also blow your mind and make you weak at the knees. (So basically it affects your whole body, it’s that good.)

81. Different babies have different milestones at different times. Do your best not to compare.

82. Weekly menu-planning has never been so important. I know it’s boring and not spontaneous, but it really does help. And I’m NOT one of those women who have binders of home organization stuff (bless their hearts), and yet I’m telling you – just plan the freaking meals. You’ll thank me later.

83. If you’re having one of those days where you feel discouraged because you’re getting nothing done, take 20 minutes to play with your baby without multi-tasking. It will instantly give you perspective.

84. Take long moments to stare at your little wonder and drink in that baby goodness. They really do grow way too fast.

85. Keep in mind that immunizations are harder for mama than for baby.

86. Find an on-line forum to join for encouragement and support.

87. Your bookmarks bar will become overrun with parenting websites and forums… but save your other links too. After the first couple of months you’ll want them again.

88. Always try to leave five minutes earlier than you need to. Then you will only be five minutes late to wherever you’re going (instead of ten) after you’ve changed the pooey diaper that inevitably happens when you’re walking out the door.

89. Be prepared to wonder if you ever knew what love was before you had a child.

90. Doing a load of laundry, folding it, and putting it away all within the same day will make you feel like wondermom. (Go ahead and congratulate yourself and tweet about it when you accomplish this.)

91. Make feeding yourself as big a priority as feeding your baby. (That way everyone wins.) You really do need to be intentional about taking care of yourself.

92. Don’t stress about baby-proofing. Your baby will help you when it’s time.

93. Watching your husband be a daddy will make you fall in love with him even more. Relish it. Appreciate it. And make sure he knows how much it turns you on.

94. Don’t wait too long before finding a mom’s group. It really is more fun than you’d expect. You’re entering into one of the biggest changes of your life (maybe the biggest) and it helps to have others going through it along with you. They don’t even have to be your best friends. They just need to be willing to share the mom life and the little years with you. Solidarity, girls. #WeNeedEachOther

95. You might find yourself accidentally speaking in a higher pitch or saying things like “bye bye”  or “night night” or “poo poo” when talking to other adults. You’ll grow out of it as you get used to this gig, so just have fun making fun of yourself in the meantime. You might also find yourself swaying the childless shopping cart back and forth as you read labels or scan the shelves looking for an item during the rare kid-free grocery run. Again, just laugh at yourself and then tweet about it later. These days are over fast.

96. You will re-define “sleeping-in” to any time past 7:00am, and thankfully it will happen every once-and-a-while.

97. Don’t put off buying a video baby monitor if you can afford to swing it. Not only will it provide endless entertainment for your first few days of having it, but it will save you from playing the guessing game about naptimes.

98. Be careful not to underestimate the small things. Starting your day with simple things like making the bed, having a shower, and eating breakfast will make the entire rest of your day better. Seriously, DO THIS STUFF.

99. Don’t get defensive when friends without children (especially single friends) ask you what you do all day at home. They honestly have no clue what it’s like to maintain sanity as a stay-at-home-mom.

100. Remember that you’re doing a great job. Being a mom brings out the best and the worst in you. Know that you’re normal and try to learn from all of it. And more than that, enjoy the ride — you’re a far better mom than you probably think.

Dear moms and expecting moms and future moms — please hear this last little tidbit and chew it up and let it sink right into your bones: my mothering mantra is not, “I am a perfect mom.” That would be ridiculous and unattainable and depressing. But my mothering mantra is, “I am the perfect mom for my kids.” And guess what? You are too. You’re the perfect mom for your kids and don’t ever let yourself think otherwise — not even for a moment. You’ve got this mom gig.

Love, Adriel xo

How To Help Your FOMO Baby Sleep

FOMO. Is that acronym new to you? Up until about a year ago, it was new to me, too. I’d never heard of FOMO (or Fear Of Missing Out) until a friend told me that she was afflicted with it. She was constantly on social media, checking in with her friends and catching up on the latest news.

But here’s something interesting – did you know your baby can have FOMO, too? It’s true; some babies just can’t seem to settle in and fall asleep, for fear that they’ll miss out on all the action!

Now, by this point in the article, your eyes may be widening as it dawns on you: “OMG, MY baby has FOMO!” And you may be right; if your baby shows most of the common FOMO symptoms, then you’ve got a FOMO baby on your hands, baby! 

6 Signs Your Baby Has FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

1. FOMO babies don’t find soothing activities very soothing. Other babies may be soothed by nursing, rocking, or patting – but not a FOMO baby!
2. FOMO babies flip over new places and people. If you think your FOMO baby’s sleep is bad, try taking her to her grandparents’ house. I guarantee it’ll get worse! A new location means tons of new things for your baby to observe and take in, and that means shortened (or non-existent) sleep.
3. FOMO babies eat actively. Hoping to nurse your baby in public, under a cover? Forget about it! Your FOMO baby won’t allow that for a minute. Trying to get your baby to hold still and focus on drinking her whole bottle? Nope! Your baby is too busy observing the world/people around her.
4. FOMO babies aren’t great at the whole “drowsy” thing. We talk a lot about “drowsy, but awake” on this blog, and in our one-on-one work with families; that’s because it’s a great way to gradually teach your baby how to fall asleep without your help. But FOMO babies don’t exactly do drowsy. In fact, FOMO babies often don’t show any tired signs until they’re already overtired – and then the sign is usually screaming.
5. FOMO babies tend to resist bedtime and nap time routines. Bedtime routines and nap time routines are designed to signal to your baby that it’s time to relax and fall asleep. Your FOMO baby gets that; the trouble is, she doesn’t want to relax and fall asleep. So she’ll fight even your best efforts at a relaxing, soothing routine.
6. A FOMO baby’s sleep is elusive – and it doesn’t last long. Many parents have told us it takes hours to put their FOMO babies to bed, and that even after sleep finally comes, it’s light.

How To Help Your FOMO Baby Sleep

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? How do you help your FOMO baby sleep? Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet that’ll fix this problem for you. Remember, this is part of your baby’s temperament. There’s no changing it! (Take comfort, though, in the fact that the really tough effects of FOMO will lessen as your baby grows.) Simply accept that your baby won’t be one of those “easy” sleepers who just falls asleep effortlessly and slides right in to a perfect eating and sleeping schedule, and you’ll save yourself a lot of wasted effort and frustration.

That doesn’t mean, however, that you have to live with a sleepless, overtired child in your home. There ARE steps you can take to help your FOMO child lengthen his naps and sleep longer at night:

• Be consistent and persistent. FOMO children thrive with consistency (as do so many others!), so be sure to keep sleep and feeding schedules as consistent as you can. Even if your baby isn’t ready for a clock-based schedule, you can still work towards consistent sleep/feeding cycles. Additionally, you’ll need to be persistent with your child’s sleep. FOMO children are themselves very persistent when it comes to resisting sleep, so you’ll have to “out-persistent” your persistent child in this arena.
• Make your child’s sleeping area as boring as possible. Many parents of FOMO babies and toddlers report that it’s only when their children are confined to bed, with nothing to see or hear or do, that they will finally fall asleep. You can achieve this kind of boring, sleep-inducing ambiance with black-out blinds and a white noise machine.
• Sleep coach, but be ready for it to take awhile (and for some fussing to be involved). If your baby’s sleep-fighting has reached the point that you’re both exhausted, then it may be time to take action and sleep coach. Sleep coaching is a great way to help your baby learn healthy sleep habits! Just be advised that sleep coaching may take longer if your baby suffers from FOMO; what takes other parents two weeks may take you four (or maybe even six). Additionally, keep in mind that your FOMO baby’s persistent nature means that there will likely be at least a little bit of fussing involved with sleep coaching.

Sleep Help For Your FOMO Baby or Toddler

Getting your FOMO baby or toddler to sleep well can feel like a monumental task. Fortunately, we can help! Connect with one of our expert consultants today; she’ll craft a Personalized Sleep Plan™ just for your baby, walk you through every step of sleep coaching and schedule-making, and provide detailed answers to your most pressing sleep training questions.

Medical Care and Your Newborn

By the time you hold your new baby in your arms for the first time, chances are you've already chosen one of the most important people in your little one's early life — a doctor. You and your baby will probably visit the doctor more often during the first year than at any other time.

You may have had a prenatal visit with your baby's doctor-to-be to discuss some specifics, such as when he or she will see your newborn for the first time, office hours and on-call hours, who fills in when your doctor is out of the office, and how the office handles after-hours emergencies. You may have also learned the doctor's views on certain issues.

In this way, you've begun to forge a relationship with your baby's doctor that should last through the bumps, bruises, and midnight fevers to come.

What Happens Right After Birth

 
Depending on your desires and the rules of the hospital or birth center where your baby is delivered, the first exam will either take place in the nursery or at your side:

Weight, length, and head circumference will be measured.

Temperature will be taken, and your baby's breathing and heart rate will be measured.

The doctor or nurse will monitor skin color and your newborn's activity.

Eye drops or ointment to prevent eye infections.

A shot of vitamin K will be given to prevent the possibility of bleeding.

Your baby will be given a first bath, and the umbilical cord stump will be cleaned. Most hospitals and birthing centers provide personal instructions (and sometimes videos) to new parents that cover feeding, bathing, and other important aspects of newborn care.

The Doctor's Visit

 
The hospital or birth center where you deliver will notify your child's doctor of the birth. If you have had any medical problems during pregnancy, if any medical problems for your baby are suspected, or if you are having a C-section, a pediatrician or your baby's doctor will be alerted of the impending birth and be standing by to take care of the baby.

The doctor you have chosen for your newborn will probably give your baby a full physical examination within 24 hours of birth. This is a good time to ask questions about your baby's care.

A sample of your baby's blood (usually done by pricking the baby's heel) will be taken to screen for a number of diseases that are important to diagnose at birth so effective treatment can be started promptly. In some cases, a repeat sample to confirm the results will be taken by the baby's doctor soon after going home.

Every newborn should be seen and examined at the doctor's office within 3 to 5 days after birth and within 72 hours after discharge from hospital. But if your baby is sent home less than 48 hours after delivery, your doctor will want your baby to be brought to the office for a check within 48 hours after discharge.

The First Office Visit

During the first office visit, your doctor will assess your baby in a variety of ways. The first office visit will differ from doctor to doctor, but you can probably expect:

measurement of weight, length, and head circumference to assess how your baby's been doing since birth

observation of your newborn's vision, hearing, and reflexes

a complete physical examination

questions about how you are doing with the new baby and how your baby is eating and sleeping

advice on what you can expect in the coming month

a discussion of your home environment and how it might affect your baby's health (for example, smoking in the house can harm your baby's health in many ways)

Also, if the results of screening tests performed on your newborn after birth are available, they may be discussed with you. Bring any questions or concerns to the doctor at this time. Jot down any specific instructions given regarding special baby care. Keep a permanent medical record for your baby that includes information about growth, immunizations, medications, and any problems or illnesses.


Immunizations Your Baby Will Receive

 
Babies are born with some natural immunity against infectious diseases because their mothers' infection-preventing antibodies are passed to them through the umbilical cord. This immunity is only temporary, but babies will develop their own immunity against many infectious diseases.

Breastfed babies receive antibodies and enzymes in breast milk that help protect them from some infections and even some allergic conditions.

Infants should get the first shot of the hepatitis B vaccine before they leave the hospital. Since your baby will receive more immunizations over the coming months, you may want to familiarize yourself with the standard immunization schedule.

When to Call the Doctor

 
Don't hesitate to call your doctor if you have concerns about your newborn. Some common difficulties to be aware of during this first month:

Eye problems can be caused by blockage of one or both tear ducts. Normally the ducts open on their 

own before too long, but sometimes they remain clogged, which can cause tearing and eye discharge. 

Call your doctor if you suspect an eye infection.

Fever in a newborn (rectal temperature above 100.4°F or 38°C) should be reported to your doctor right away.

A runny nose can make it hard for a baby to breathe well, especially during feeding. You can help ease discomfort by using a rubber bulb aspirator to gently suction mucus from the nose. Call your doctor if you have concerns about your baby's breathing.

It's normal for newborns to have loose stools or spit up after feedings. However, very loose and watery stools and forceful vomiting could mean there is a problem. Call your doctor if your baby has diarrhea, is vomiting, or has signs of dehydration, which include a decreased number of wet diapers, a dry mouth, and lethargy (being very sluggish or drowsy).

by: Mary L. Gavin, MD

When your baby starts crawling

When my babies went through the crawling phase, there were many exciting, shiny bits of the milestone. It was delightful witnessing my babies moving from that sitting Buddha, to the rocking-on-all-fours, dog-like creatures who were just raring to go. Finally taking that first frontward heave, with a face of surprise and accomplishment, was certainly priceless. The realisation they could move from one point to another was definitely a joy to behold.

But once I overcame the thrill of my baby meeting a new developmental landmark, I realised the practical implications of living with a crawler were not so sparkly.

On the go

Put your baby down in one place, turn around and they're in another. That takes some getting used to. Be mindful that crawlers are curious and their newfound freedom to get around can have them in places you wouldn't imagine. With a lack of spatial awareness they can get themselves into some sticky situations; I've had babies crawling with curiosity, only to find them stuck under the couch, under the change table or between a cupboard and a wall.

Stairs

We have a house full of stairs, which is equivalent to an extreme adventure sport for crawlers. Some of them sense the danger and quickly learn to turn around and slide down on their tummies. Others, not so astute, learn the hard way that full frontal down a flight of stairs isn't fun.

Don't fret, we had stair gates everywhere. But it was the bright crawler who figured out he could climb into the gap between the railings that had us on our toes.

Dead flies & stray toys

I don't care how immaculate your house is, when you set a crawler down, they find stray things. Mine always seemed to find the single dead fly and proceed to test it out as a snack. You can bet that a lost Lego piece will be located by a crawler, which is why being anally retentive about "a place for everything and everything in its place" becomes imperative when there's a rugrat around.

Baby-proofing your house when a crawler is on the loose can be a work in progress as they discover items you hadn't considered at their level. I found myself crawling around on all fours, analysing my home from their viewpoint; it was very useful until I couldn't get up.

Filth

As with the dead insect point, you can polish your floors until the reflection of your tired, haggard face stares back at you, but a crawling baby will always have dirty knees and filthy palms. Or, in a commando crawler's case, an entire layer of dog hair and dust coating their stomachs. And we don't even own a dog.

My firstborn was a commando crawler; had I thought to strap an Enjo to his front, he could've become a human swisher.

If you're not quick enough to sweep up the collateral damage from lunch in the highchair, then expect to find your crawler eating scraps off the floor. Like a stomach swisher, the crawling food machine has benefits: think 'human vacuum'. Not so handy if the food scrap lying on the floor is chilli beef jerky ... it turns out that human vacuums don't like random samples of chilli.

No two crawlers are the same

It's funny how as parents, we want our first baby to reach every milestone quickly. We are so excited when they roll, then look like they're going to crawl. Then they crawl and you want them to stand, then walk, then talk, then pay some bills and move out.

With our second children, we wanted him to do it all late - keep him immobile. Well, not quite, but we know what we were in for, so could be accused of being a little less passionate about certain phases.

I expected my second child would crawl commando-style like my firstborn. I was all over that by the time he was eight months, and was ready with the stomach rags for him to shine my floor. Instead, he chose a very labour intensive style; he leant to one side like he was about to roll, then pushed off his back foot and did it again on the other side. He sometimes forgot to get his arm out the way so would fall on his face. It was a harrowing time for all involved.

The third child mixed it up with some commando, some leg drag, and some bog-standard all-fours crawling.

The fourth was a more traditional crawler but actually preferred to crawl and sit, crawl and sit.

I never got myself a bum-shuffler, with the nappy being dragged down just enough to show off a bit of builder's crack. Shame about that.

The point is, the contingency plans you had in place for your first child may not apply when subsequent children start crawling. Each child has a unique style.

So although it was interesting to watch my babies on the move, I'll admit crawling was not my favourite phase. That was until I was introduced to climbing ... then I really knew I was alive. 

Cod liver oil: nature’s most potent superfood?

In general I think we should try to meet most of our nutrient needs by eating fresh foods.

After all, that’s the the way humans are adapted to absorbing nutrients.  Isolated, synthetic nutrients don’t have the same effect on our bodies, because most nutrients require co-factors and enzymes to be properly absorbed and activated.  These are not often present in supplements.

Cod liver oil is a notable exception.  In fact, even though most people think of it as a supplement, it’s more accurate to refer to it as a food – or perhaps “superfood”.

In particular, I recommend that all men and women trying to get pregnant, and all women that are pregnant and breastfeeding, take fermented cod liver oil (sold by Green Pastures – I have no affiliation with them).

Why cod liver oil?

It has large amounts of pre-formed vitamin A (retinol).  Vitamin A plays several crucial roles in reproductive health.  It promotes full-term pregnancy,  proper development of the face, kidneys and lungs and prevents prolonged labor, deafness and internal organ displacement – among other things.  As I mentioned in a previous article Why You Can’t Get Vitamin A From Vegetables, animal foods like liver and cod liver oil are the only significant sources of vitamin A in the diet.

It has more vitamin D per unit weight than any other common food.  Vitamin D is another important nutrient for fertility and pregnancy that up to 50% of women are deficient in.  Vitamin D promotes proper development of the bones, especially in the 3rd trimester when the fetal skeleton begins to grow rapidly.  It also plays a role in the development of the lungs, and protects newborns from tetany, convulsions and heart failure.

It has vitamin E, vitamin K2 (mk-7 form) and various quinones.  These fat-soluble vitamins are important to health and, in the case of K2 especially, aren’t commonly found in foods.

It has healthy amounts of the long-chain omega-3 fatty acids, EPA & DHA.  DHA is particularly important for fertility (both male and female) and pregnancy.  DHA is preferentially incorporated into the rapidly developing brain during pregnancy and the first two years of infancy, concentrating in the grey matter and the eyes.  It’s also crucial to the formation of neurons – the functional cells of the brain – and to protecting the brain from oxidative damage.

Why do I specifically recommend Green Pastures fermented cod liver oil?

It is cold-processed through fermentation.  This is important because processing with heat (which is what almost all other brands do) can damage the fragile long-chain omega-3 fatty acids, which in turn makes them potentially harmful to ingest.

It contains naturally occurring fat-soluble vitamins.  Most companies bleach and deodorize the cod liver oil in processing it, and before they do that, they have to remove the naturally occurring vitamins to prevent them from becoming damaged.  Then they add the vitamins back in afterward – except that when they do, they add back synthetic vitamins instead of the naturally occurring ones.

I recommend a dose of between 5 mL to 10 mL per day for women trying to get pregnant or who are already pregnant or breastfeeding, and a dose of 5 mL per day for men.

Author,
Chris Kresser

Bringing Baby Home: How to Prepare for the Arrival of Your Newborn

One of the most cautious drives you’ll ever take is the one bringing your baby home with you. Newborns look and feel fragile, and they represent a new of world of uncertainty. Here’s what you need to know to make your transition to parenthood easier.

It’s true: There’s no official instruction manual for becoming a parent.

But relax. You’re not the first parent to wonder why you’ve been entrusted with a little person without an instruction manual. The 40 weeks (give or take) of pregnancy allow time for more than just picking out names; it’s your opportunity to plan and prepare. The more you know about your newborn, the better equipped you’ll be when she arrives.

Once your baby is born, doctors will be looking for a few key signs that she is healthy and ready to go home, says Vinod K. Bhutani, M.D., FAAP, professor of pediatrics at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford University School of Medicine. “First they will want to see that the baby is able to breathe well and maintain her body temperature,” says Dr. Bhutani, who is also a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Committee on Fetus and Newborn.

Newborns must also demonstrate that they can feed well. Regardless of whether she’s breastfed or bottle-fed, all babies should be wetting at least three or four diapers in a 24-hour period, says Dr. Bhutani. And while many newborns have some jaundice — a yellowish tint to their skin — their jaundice will be evaluated before they’re sent home from the hospital. If necessary, your pediatrician will discuss a follow-up plan for monitoring your baby’s jaundice.

Healthy at Home

 

Most healthy newborns go home after two or three days, yet the transition for parents is just beginning. “It’s OK to be a little scared — the first week after babies are born is when they’re most vulnerable,” says Dr. Bhutani. “Newborns can have multiple medical problems that if left unattended can become serious.”

Dehydration is sometimes a concern for newborn babies that can continue once they’ve left the hospital. Your pediatrician will discuss dehydration with you so you’llknow what to look for, how to respond, etc.

Parents should also watch for signs of infection in their newborn. Infections can be picked up during birth or from people other than the parents handling the baby, such as visitors. “Most people think only of fevers, but newborns can have dropping temperatures or a low temperature that’s of concern,” says Dr. Bhutani. It’s always wise to watch for signs of infection around the belly button or circumcised foreskin, such as poor sucking during breastfeeding, a lack of appetite, poor weight gain, weak crying, and increasing irritability.

Jaundice happens in most every baby, peaking in the first week as newborns learn to excrete the yellow pigment called bilirubin in their stools. “Babies tend to have slow liver function at first and may have some evidence of jaundice as their livers quickly mature over the first several days,” write Drs. Laura Jana and Jennifer Shu in Heading Home With Your Newborn. “The bilirubin level generally peaks by about 5 days for term babies and about 1 week for those born prematurely.” If your baby continues to have signs of jaundice — very yellowish skin and eyes — after day four, consult your pediatrician.

Although most babies remain perfectly healthy after they’re discharged from the hospital, it’s important to watch for any signs of illness and take your child to the pediatrician for evaluation within a day or two of leaving the hospital. “Every baby needs to be seen by a pediatrician on day three, four, or five,” says Dr. Bhutani. “It’s a must.”

Finding a Pediatrician

 

As a new parent, it’s important to find a pediatrician with whom you feel comfortable. If your child becomes ill, you want to have a good working relationship with a doctor you trust and respect, and who will be there to support you.

Begin by evaluating the pediatrician practices in your local area. Determine whether it matters to you if you have a male or female pediatrician. Be aware that while it’s all the same to infants, some children as they get older feel more at ease working with a doctor of the same sex. If possible, visit the offices and meet the physicians in person. Or find out if your hospital has a “Meet the Doctors” night attended by area pediatricians.

Since you’ll be visiting a pediatrician shortly after bringing your child home, don’t leave this task until the last minute. “You have nine months to plan. You should always choose your pediatrician beforehand,” says Dr. Bhutani.

Quick Tips: Time to Call the Doctor

 

Watch for these signs that it’s time to call your pediatrician:

• Your newborn’s breathing is faster or irregular
• You notice blueness or a darkness on the lips or face 
• Your newborn has a fever 
• Your newborn’s body temperature has dropped
• You see signs of dehydration (less than 3 to 4 wet diapers in a 24-hour period)
• Your baby’s belly button or circumcision area looks infected
• Your newborn’s jaundice does not decrease by the fifth day 
• Your baby is crying a lot or appears sluggish
• You think your baby is not looking or feeling well

Quick Tips: Choosing a Pediatrician

 

The following are a few questions from the AAP to help you select a pediatrician:

• What are the office hours? Is emergency coverage available 24/7?
• Which hospital does the pediatrician use?
• Do they accept your insurance plan and how does the office process billing and claims?
• What are the qualifications of the pediatrician? Is he or she an AAP member (i.e., “FAAP,” a Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics)?

What is Preventing Your Baby from Sleeping Through the Night?

Here’s something that may really surprise you: As much as we may want our babies to sleep through the night, our own subconscious emotions sometimes hold us back from encouraging change in our babies’ sleeping habits. You yourself may be the very obstacle preventing a change in a routine that disrupts your life. So let’s figure out if anything is standing in your way.

Examine Your Own Needs and Goals

Today’s society leads us to believe that “normal babies” sleep through the night from about two months; my research indicates that this is more the exception than the rule. The number of families in your boat could fill a fleet of cruise ships.

“At our last day-care parent meeting, one father brought up the fact that his two-year-old daughter wasn’t sleeping through the night. I discovered that out of 24 toddlers only six stayed asleep all night long.” …Robin, mother of thirteen-month-old Alicia

You must figure out where your own problem lies. Is it in your baby’s routine, in your management of it, or simply in the minds of others? If you can honestly say you want to change your baby’s sleep habits because they are truly disruptive to you and your family, then you’re ready to make changes. But if you feel coerced into changing Baby’s patterns because Great Grandma Beulah or your friend from playgroup says that’s the way it should be, it’s time for a long, hard think.

Certainly, if your little one is waking you up every hour or two, you don’t have to think long on the question, “Is this disruptive to me?” It obviously is. However, if your baby is waking up only once or twice a night, it’s important that you determine exactly how much this pattern is disturbing to you, and decide on a realistic goal. Be honest in assessing the situation’s effect on your life. Begin today by contemplating these questions:

Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated?

Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, job, or relationships with my other children?

Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?

Am I happy, healthy, and well rested?

Once you answer these questions, you will have a better understanding of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s sleep, but also how motivated you are to make a change.

Reluctance to Let Go of Those Nighttime Moments

A good, long, honest look into your heart may truly surprise you. You may find you actually relish those quiet night wakings when no one else is around. I remember in the middle of one night, I lay nursing Coleton by the light of the moon. The house was perfectly, peacefully quiet. As I gently stroked his downy hair and soft baby skin, I marveled at this tiny being beside me—and the thought hit me, “I love this! I love these silent moments that we share in the night.” It was then that I realized that even though I struggled through my baby’s hourly nighttime wakings, I needed to want to make a change in our night waking habits before I would see any changes in his sleeping patterns.

You may need to take a look at your own feelings. And if you find you’re truly ready to make a change, you’ll need to give yourself permission to let go of this stage of your baby’s life and move on to a different phase in your relationship. There will be lots of time to hug, cuddle, and love your little one, but you must truly feel ready to move those moments out of your sleeping time and into the light of day.

Worry About Your Baby’s Safety

We parents worry about our babies, and we should! With every night waking, as we have been tending to our child’s nightly needs, we have also been reassured that our baby is doing fine — every hour or two all night long. We get used to these checks; they provide continual reassurance of Baby’s safety.

“The first time my baby slept five straight hours, I woke up in a cold sweat. I nearly fell out of bed and ran down the hall. I was so sure that something was horribly wrong. I nearly wept when I found her sleeping peacefully.” …Azza, mother of seven-month-old Laila

Co-sleeping parents are not exempt from these fears. Even if you are sleeping right next to your baby, you’ll find that you have become used to checking on her frequently through the night. Even when she’s sleeping longer stretches, you aren’t sleeping, because you’re still on security duty.

These are very normal worries, rooted in your natural instincts to protect your baby. Therefore, for you to allow your baby to sleep for longer stretches, you’ll need to find ways to feel confident that your baby is safe—all night long.

Once you reassure yourself that your baby is safe while you sleep, you’ll have taken that first step toward helping her sleep all night.

Belief That Things Will Change on Their Own

You may hope, pray, and wish that one fine night, your baby will magically begin to sleep through the night. Maybe you’re crossing your fingers that he’ll just “outgrow” this stage, and you won’t have to do anything different at all. It’s a very rare night-waking baby who suddenly decides to sleep through the night all on his own. Granted, this may happen to you—but your baby may be two, three or four years old when it does! Decide now whether you have the patience to wait that long, or if you are ready to gently move the process along.

Too Fatigued to Work Toward Change

Change requires effort, and effort requires energy. In an exhausted state, we may find it easier just to keep things as they are than try something different. In other words, when Baby wakes for the fifth time that night, and I’m desperate for sleep, it’s so much easier just to resort to the easiest way to get him back to sleep (rock, nurse, or replace the pacifier) than it is to try something different.

Only a parent who is truly sleep deprived can understand what I’m saying here. Others may calmly advise, “Well if things aren’t working for you, just change what you’re doing.” However, every night waking puts you in that foggy state where the only thing you crave is going back to sleep—plans and ideas seem like too much effort.

If you are to help your baby sleep all night, you will have to force yourself to make some changes and follow your plan, even in the middle of the night, even if it’s the tenth time your baby has called out for you.

So, after reading this section and you’re sure you and your baby are ready, it’s time for you to make a commitment to change. That is the first important step to helping your baby sleep through the night.


Author,
Elizabeth Pantley